I spent my weekend in the Dallas-Fort Worth Metroplex (or whatever it’s called) enjoying a Cleveland Indians victory over the Texas Rangers (the only one we managed to get) and taking in a Double-A game at Dr. Pepper Ballpark between the Frisco Roughriders and the San Antonio Missions. I spent four hours of Sunday night driving from Frisco to Austin in the dark and am running on about three unsuccessful hours of sleep, so if today is nothing but links and typos, I apologize.
Sports
Nate Robinson Wants to Play NFL Football – Maybe he can get his own Disney-made movie, like Invincible. Also, not going to lie, whenever I see “Nate Robinson” I think it’s Peter Parker’s black friend from the Daily Bugle. [Smoking Section]
Dana White Issues First Ever “Thank You For Getting Those Trunks Off TV As Soon As Possible” Bonus – I didn’t think they were so bad. Then again, I watch pro wrestling, the only place you get a bonus for wearing weird crotch-grabbing sh**. [Cage Potato]
Destroying Something Beautiful: The Disappointing Comerica Park Field Stormer – Will never understand people who run onto the field, especially the ones who run out there and don’t do anything. If you’re gonna run onto the field, buy a wedding dress or prepare to get tazed or SOMETHING. [Josh’s Website]
Even Peter King’s Typos Are Lofty – Yes, “lofty” is a good word to describe Peter King. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
With Leather
The Incredible History of The Muppets, Sesame Street, and Our Favorite Athletes – In a better world, this would be our most popular feature of all time. When you’re done with this, go read the Top 50 Muppets list we did at Progressive Boink. [With Leather]
Melina Splits: WWE Cleaning House – I wanted to do a Best and Worst of TNA Hardcore Justice for today, but there’s no way I’m spending three hours on Rob Van Dam this morning. Instead, go read about how sad we are all for Chris Masters. [With Leather]
The CrossFit Games – We’re still getting tons of traffic on this, and with good reason – CrossFit is crazy and Matt Ufford is great. I wish he had a website! [With Leather]
The Dugout: A-Rod’s Violent Gambling Parties – boy I swurr, et al. [The Dugout]
Not Sports
Interview with G4TV’s Jessica Chobot – I’m never going to find a G4 girl to like as much as I liked Morgan Webb, am I? I like Jessica Chobot because she looks like the domestic version of the girl from Ginger Snaps, but dislike her because of all the terrible Geek Minstrel stuff magazines do with girls who have heard of video games. [Adult Swim]
The Louis C.K./Dane Cook Scene – Just unbelievable television. “Louie” (both with and without the quotes) will make even your favorite TV shows seem phony and terrible. [Warming Glow]
Hitchcock’s First Film Found in New Zealand – I bet it’s good, too. You could give 11-year old Alfred Hitchcock a f**king Viewmaster and a five dollar bill and he’d come up with something better than anything released this summer. [Moviefone]
Meme Watch: Obama’s Hip Hop BBQ – Middle America can finally enjoy all that horrid racism we expected when we elected a black President. Obama needs to do a press conference about how the federal economy GON GET GOT. [UPROXX]
