Final trailer for Karate Black Kid

Senior Editor
06.08.10 34 Comments

(“Stay out my store! How may time I tew you? Riddo brack boy stay deess side wall unress you wan’ buy!”)

It’s less than a week before we get to see Will Smith’s son play dress up with millions of dollars of studio money, and the studio has released a final trailer (watch it below).  Finally, it’s the version of the Karate Kid starring an annoying, whiny 11-year-old you always wanted.

12-year-old Dre Parker (Smith) could’ve been the most popular kid in Detroit, but his mother’s (Henson) latest career move has landed him in China. Dre immediately falls for his classmate Mei Ying—and the feeling is mutual—but cultural differences make such a friendship impossible [no boom-boom with soul brudda!  soul brudda too beaucoup!]. Even worse, Dre’s feelings make an enemy of the class bully, Cheng. In the land of kung fu, Dre knows only a little karate, and Cheng puts “the karate kid” on the floor with ease [looks like they solved that little karate/kung fu problem, didn’t they]. With no friends in a strange land, Dre has nowhere to turn but maintenance man Mr. Han (Chan), who is secretly a master of kung fu.

Gosh, sure I hope he gets the girl.  It’d be a real shame if an 11-year-old boy didn’t find a Chinese chick to play jacks with or whatever.  Last time I found myself rooting for two 11-year-olds to fall in love, I was partying at Roman Polanski’s chalet.  Anyway, the only way this massive hunk of sh*t could be any good is if three fourths of the movie was Jackie Chan beating up fifth graders.

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