/Film has a brand new trailer and Collider has eight new clips from Juno up today. Directed by Jason Reitman and written by Diablo Cody (Brook Busey-Hunt), Juno stars Ellen Page, Michael Cera, Rainn Wilson, Jason Bateman, Jennifer Garner, and JK Simmons; and I swear to christ it feels like I’ve been hearing about it since I was just a muscular tadpole in my Daddy’s nutsack. Could you please just release the f-ing thing already?
Juno opens in New York and Los Angeles on December 5th, but as for the rest of you sad bastards, well you can just park your fat asses at IHOP and soak up lingonberry butter till you croak because Hollywood doesn’t care about you. Yeah, that’s right, they’re not concerned about the little guy, because they’re too busy getting money enemas and eating endangered species sushi off of real-live naked chicks, man! The kind guys like you and me only see on the internet! I’m sick of it!
Anyway, I used to think I was into Ellen Page ‘cuz she’s all smart alecky and stuff, but now I’m starting to think I might like her friend in the pigtails more. Okay, okay, lusting after high school girls is kind of weird, but in real life her names Olivia Thirlby and she’s street legal in all 50 states. Now, if I could just find an IMDB page for that bewitching chap from the Gerber jars.. .
And Mr. Snuggles. That sexy bear really softens my fabric.