We all have the story about the toy that our mothers threw out on us. The ones that are now worth a ton. But missing your old toys isn’t just about a dashed future windfall, it’s about our ever-fading ability to play make believe and fall into the things that occupy our time in a way that is both joyful and ponderous. It’s also about the ways that some of these things could still fit into our lives — if we were lucky enough to track them down.
With that in mind, here is a list of toys that we wish we had again because they were awesome, we could still use them (in some way), and in some cases, because money is now the chief accessory of the adult imagination and some of this crap is worth some serious bank.
Crayons and construction paper were low rent, if you had a creative little mind and wanted to partake in some vinyl fan fic, Colorforms were the way to go, allowing you the chance to create your own stories with all of your favorite characters and also cardboard.
Interestingly, Colorforms are back now, but it’s not the same. For one thing, vinyl fan fic means something totally different, and for another, the characters aren’t exactly the same as they were in 1987. Don’t bother trying to play with your old ones, either. According to our own super scientific exploration, after all this time, they’ve lost their cling. Which is ironic in that as childhood recedes into the rearview mirror, most other things begin to suck more, not less.
The Playskool Kitchen
Behold, the toy that fed the Easy Bake Oven its lunch. Oh, you can make a cake with a light bulb? I’ve got plastic chicken, a fake sink, and an imagination! You also had a playroom behemoth that transitioned nicely from full-service kitchen to GI Joe (or generic army man #NoJudgements) headquarters. I’m talking practicing diving maneuvers in the sink and landing planes in the oven. The U.S.S. Flagg ain’t got sh*t on the Playskool Kitchen.