Here’s What All Your Weird Sex Dreams Really Mean


Last night, I had a dream in which I, a sales associate at a local Walgreens, told my boss, Christina Ricci (formerly of The Addams Family, now the manager of my local Walgreens) that if we could love her after she starred in Pan Am, then she could let me keep my job despite the fact that she assumed my shoes were stolen (they were not). The meaning of this dream was fairly simple — I have issues I need to work out with how Christina Ricci’s career is going — but many dreams aren’t as clear.

Especially when they’re sex dreams and you wake up in a cold sweat thinking “Oh my !@#$ing god, do I have feelings for my dad?”

Good news: You (probably) don’t! Because as one dream psychologist, Ian Wallace, explains it, your sex dreams rarely have anything to do with sex at all. They’re about your life. And, fortunately, all those people you’re having sex with — from your high school gym teacher, to your boss, to the entire cast of The Good Wife (hey, it’s all I watched this weekend!) — are just snippets of your own personality. So, really, in your dreams you’re having sex (or agonizing over sex) with your own fears and anxieties.

Of course, some sex dreams are all about wish fulfillment, but Wallace told Everyday Health you shouldn’t just take sex dreams at face value:

Wallace explains it like this: When someone pops up in your sex dream, it doesn’t necessarily imply you want to be intimate with this person. Instead, he or she probably possesses some admirable personality trait (such as leadership skills, kindness, or a flair for fashion) that you recognize in yourself but haven’t yet fully developed. “Showing off your talents and traits requires that you open up and become vulnerable and exposed,” says Wallace — just like sex (which is why your snoozing psyche converts it into this extremely intimate act).

Sounds plausible, I guess (especially because all things are possible in dreams! Like flying! And free healthcare!), but we’ve got to go deeper. Because every sex dream is different, each one can mean different things. If you dream of having sex with your boss, for instance, it’s possible you’re flirting with your own ambition and the fact that like your boss, you’re also ready to become a leader.

What about sex with friends? You like some of their best qualities, even if you’re not interested in having sex with them, ever! Your crush? You like their good qualities too, especially the spiritual and emotional ones. And if you’re having dreams about doing it with a celeb — you’ve guessed it: It’s possible that there’s some quality you both share that makes them appear in your dreams. Of course, it could also be that you just really want to have sex with someone virtually unattainable and this is the only way for you to get that going on.

Here’s what you haven’t heard before, though:

Eek! Having a sex dream with your sibling or parent sounds icky, creepy, and just plain wrong — but Wallace insists it’s completely normal. And once again, it all boils down to your kin’s character. If your dad, sister, or great uncle has some trait that you admire or recognize in yourself, watch out: You may just end up in bed with them … in your dreams, of course.

Great! Sounds good! In the immortal words of Liz Lemon:

(Via Bro Bible)