All The ‘Mallrats’ Quotes Kevin Smith Fans Are Still Repeating

I was introduced to Kevin Smith movies at a young age — 11 to be exact — when my brother’s friend brought a VHS of Clerks to my house, and we watched it huddling around a 13″ fuzzy TV in his bedroom. And because we loved it, the same week my brother purchased a copy of Mallrats, which quickly became the most played and quoted VHS in my house.

For that reason, here I present to you all the Mallrats quotes you know you’re still repeating…

“Wow, a sailboat!” — Kid 1

Everyday use: When you’re quicker than your friends.

“Do it, Doug!” — Jay

Everyday use: When you’re rooting for the underdog.

“You have a third nipple?” — T.S.

Everyday use: When you’re there for entirely different reasons.

“You f*ckers think just because a guy reads comics he can’t start some shit?” — Brodie

Everyday use: When there’s more to you than meets the eye.

“The bastard’s faster than Walt Flanagan’s dog!” — Jay

Everyday use: When you underestimate your opponent.

“‘Why buy the cow, when you can get the sex for free.'” — Brodie quoting his Grandma

Everyday use: When an old idiom need a facelift.

“Your maleness amazes me sometimes.” — T.S.

Everyday use: When your friend is acting too macho.

“The customer is always an a**hole.” — Shannon

Everyday use: When you work retail on Black Friday.

“There is no Easter Bunny! That over there is just a guy in a suit!” — William

Everyday use: When a kid gets the best of you.

“Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned for Sega.” — Brodie

Everyday use: When your hobbies shouldn’t come first.

“Waste not, want not.” — Brodie

Everyday use: When you’re thinking of your future.

“Where do you get those wonderful toys?” — Jay

Everyday use: When your friend’s gadgets suddenly come in handy (and you want to quote Jay quoting Nicholson’s Joker).

“Adventure, excitement… a Jedi craves not these things.” — Silent Bob

Everyday use: When being humble is the answer.

“Fly, fat a**, fly!” — Jay

Everyday use: When someone does something unexpected.

“Holy sh*t, mother f*ckin’ Yoda and sh*t.” — Jay

Everyday use: When your friend channels Star Wars.

“Tell ’em, Steve-Dave!” — Walt “Fanboy” Grover

Everyday use: When your friend is in an altercation.

“That kid is back on the escalator!” — Brodie

Everyday use: When you care for someone else’s safety.

“Say, would you like a chocolate covered pretzel?” — Brodie

Everyday use: When the prank is about to go down.

“Snootchie-Bootchies.” — Jay

Everyday use: When you’ve accomplished your mission.