When we got a look at Guardians in its native language, the Russian Avengers knock-off made absolutely no sense, plot-wise. But we figured that was the language barrier and besides, the real selling point was a bear-man with a gatling throwing somebody five city blocks and using them for mid-air target practice. But now, with this English trailer, we can finally realize that this movie won’t make sense no matter what. Still looks cool, though!
Basically the trailer, which appears to be a Russian teaser with a new English voiceover, lays out what we already gathered: Russian patriots signed onto a secret government program that turned them into super soldiers, back during the Cold War. Then the Cold War ended, and they more or less just got day jobs. But a vague menace has returned, and only Guy Who Commands Rocks, Really Fast Guy With Swords, Invisible Lady, Generic Blond Handsome Bro, and The Right To Bear-Arms can stop them! Trust us, those are better names than what the movie went with.
As for when we can see Russia try to one-up Cap and Tony, the movie will be out in its homeland in February 2017. It’s not clear yet just when an American release might arrive. But we doubt it’ll be very long, because art like this wants to be free.
