For reasons no one can quite clearly understand, toilet paper has become a precious commodity in this age of the coronavirus. Seriously, good luck finding any in stores after hoarders apparently decided they’re going to get a lot of bathroom reading done for however long this pandemic lasts.
Thankfully, there are bold pioneers and innovators like Guardians of the Galaxy director James Gunn who’s resorted to drastic measures for alleviating his own toilet paper shortage. Granted, it involves wiping himself with Yondu actor Michael Rooker‘s face, but you do what you have to do in the face of adversity. For the record, Gunn isn’t using Rooker’s actual face. He just happened to have rolls of gag toilet paper featuring Rooker’s face laying around the house. Hollywood, right?
“I bought a bunch of these rolls of toilet paper as a joke when Rooker came over for Christmas a couple years ago,” Gunn tweeted. “I put them in all the bathrooms of the house. I never thought we were actually going to have to use them, but here we are.”
As for Guardians fans, they were quick to “roll” out the puns because, let’s face it, we’re all going crazy out here.
Who knew Yondu was an Assguardian.
— Jim Ketchum (@jimketchum77) March 25, 2020
Maybe not THIS close
— fredrik a star wars story (@MarsReboot) March 25, 2020
“I’m Mary Plop-ins, y’all!”
— James Duke (@DukeJamesDuke) March 25, 2020
"don't go soft on me boy!"
— Neil Grace (@Olimite) March 25, 2020
As of this writing, Gunn hasn’t admitted to wiping his butt with the faces of other MCU characters, but we’ll keep you posted if he does. In the meantime, it’s only a matter of if, not when someone realizes Groot could easily be converted to at least a 12 pack of Charmin. Maybe even a 24-count. That’s a solid month of wiping right there.