Back in June, it was reported that Universal Pictures’ 1440 division was remaking the Ivan Reitman comedy Kindergarten Cop, probably because we needed a reminder that Hollywood is out of ideas. This idea is a silly one, not just because of the tired and questionable plot, but also because the original is a classic (loved by many, but not everyone) and even Arnold Schwarzenegger called it his favorite film. And let’s face it – you can hire any writer you want, but you’re still not going to top that little kid shouting, “Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina!” You’re just not.
In this case, though, the writer is David H. Steinberg (American Pie 2) and the director is Don Michael Paul (Jarhead 2, a real movie), and now we know who the star is… Dolph Lundgren. While this specific title doesn’t appear on Lundgren’s very busy IMDb page, the folks at Manly Movie got their hands on some photos from the set of what is apparently not a remake at all, but instead a sequel. That’s the most ridiculous part of this, of course because, once again, this has nothing to do with Detective John Kimble or anyone from the original film.
The new Kindergarten cop is a leading man type with an Indian sidekick named Sanjit. They’re on the trail of a missing flash drive from the Federal Witness protection program. Somehow it’s wound up in a kindergarten class. Flimsy premise, but it puts him side by side with a beautiful teacher and they hit it off. There’s also bad guys involved– this time they’re Albanian. (Via Manly Movie)
Even for a straight-to-DVD film, this is an eye roller, but come on, Dolph. I like to think you’re better than Larry the Cable Guy. I guess what I’m trying to say is that if I can change, and you can change, everybody can change!