Maybe, just maybe, Oscar-winning Jared Leto should just say no to more comic book movies. Obviously, there are lots of hands in the cookie jar on projects like these, so one can’t really blame him for an entire movie’s quality (yet we can judge him for his Worst Joker), but the first (and sizeable) batch of Morbius: The Living Vampire reviews have arrived, and let’s just say that it’s not good. On Rotten Tomatoes, the movie’s currently sitting at a 19% rotten rating after 79 reviews. And it doesn’t appear to even be so-bad-it’s-good, simply straight-up bad.
All of this is happening three months after the movie achieved the dubious most-delayed movie record of the pandemic. The film was initially due to arrive on July 10, 2020, and the eventual April 1, 2022 release date now feels like a cruel joke. Maybe that’s how it was always supposed to be for the movie about a so-called brilliant scientist who tries to cure his own blood disorder and ends up vamping out, but them’s the cards.
Whatever the case, Sony’s Spider-Man Universe is stumbling from the looks of things. The reactions and reviews are overwhelmingly negative, and that includes tweets and reviews from critics who have seen the movie and some (seriously funny) fake Twitter reactions. That last category will come last because you might need a laugh after this batch of misery. These first tweets (from critics who’ve legit seen Morbius) flat-out call it “bad” and “sloppy” and nonsensical with credits scenes that are “insulting” to audiences. This looks like the first Marvel Cinematic Miss.
#Morbius is a reminder of what many comic book movies were before the MCU: sloppy, poorly executed, and sure to disappoint fans of the comics. It also contains the worst attempt at universe building in the modern era. Full review later tonight but…it’s bad. pic.twitter.com/lng4YWH5Gg
— Dan Murrell (@MurrellDan) March 31, 2022
#Morbius is not good.
None of the story sticks, and because of it, everything else falls apart. Questionable writing is rampant and the third act is nonsense.
Also, the two post-credits scenes are insulting. I’m convinced that the second was literally written by a six-year-old. pic.twitter.com/zugbYCXKj1
— Russ Milheim (@RussMilheim) March 31, 2022
#Morbius is the worst Marvel superhero movie in a long, long time. Mostly inert, sometimes laughable. And the scene where someone tries to summon a cat by shaking their litter box, only to assume the cat is gone when that doesn't work, is the weirdest thing I've seen in years. pic.twitter.com/tNHmN63Ug3
— William Bibbiani (@WilliamBibbiani) March 31, 2022
Well, #Morbius is about as bad as you were expecting. A 2005 plot collides with visually confusing CGI to create a bit of a snooze fest. But don't worry, they've saved the worst for last. Featuring some of the worst post credits scenes you've EVER seen, Sony are off their rocker. pic.twitter.com/TMfVpq95Tn
— Sab Astley (@sab_astley) March 24, 2022
The reviews don’t improve the situation. Here’s Alonso Duralde from The Wrap:
It’s become something of a running gag on the internet that “Morbius” isn’t really a movie. Online observers insist that, from its ever-changing release date over the last two years to its grim and somewhat goofy premise involving Jared Leto as a scientist who turns into a vampire, this has to be an elaborate prank and not an actual film… We can confirm that “Morbius” is, really and truly, a movie. Granted, it’s not much of a movie, but it’s a movie nonetheless.
Owen Gleiberman from Variety:
“Morbius” isn’t even a debacle. It’s a little over 90 minutes long if you don’t count the credits (which include what has to be the worst closing teaser I’ve ever seen in a Marvel movie — it ends with the word “Intriguing,” dangled as if Vincent Price had uttered it), and for all the overwrought push of Jon Ekstrand’s score, the film is nothing more than a flimsy time-killer, an early-April placeholder of a movie.
Kate Erbland from IndieWire:
Even the most basic elements of the film are incomprehensible. Michael has all the trappings of a bad guy — this is the kind of guy who has a massive chamber of bats in the middle of his lab, both for decor and research — but by the time he gifts yet another origami animal to someone he cares about, you’ll have to wonder, this dude is a villain? (Leto, who notoriously immerses himself in his work, could seemingly find little here, his Michael is somehow both confounding and very boring. )
Matt Donato from IGN:
Morbius presents its origin story with the most formulaic structure, as an overly serious Leto is doing the opposite of Tom Hardy’s campy Venom schtick that so many adore. It’s a choice that promotes Morbius’ moral conundrum as a self-conscious vampire over anything considered “superhero cinema fun,” taking everything deathly serious to an ultimate detriment.
And here are some of the aforementioned jokey tweets, which are perhaps the apex of what Twitter can do for you. “Be careful out there everyone!” is a valid public service announcement, alright.
REVIEW: ‘MORBIUS’ was a phenomenal time at the movies. The 4D experience was astounding. Particularly when Jared Leto jumped out the screen, sucked my blood and then decided to take my ex-wife to dinner.
— Le Cinéphiles (@LeCinephiles) March 31, 2022
Be careful out there everyone. I had 2 Morbius tickets in my car and someone broke in and left 4 more. pic.twitter.com/AUtwDehdbM
— jarviss ᱬ (@jrvsscarlet) March 31, 2022
Just watched Morbius & gosh the tears in my eyes. The plot, The themes, the characters, the dynamics, the drama, the lore, the emotional moments…everything was garbage from beginning to end. On my way to the hospital, definitely the worst movie I've ever seen pic.twitter.com/YoiVFjRN5e
— starscourge krimson (@LinkAegis) March 30, 2022
Morbius supposedly now arrives in theaters on April 1, 2022.