Paddington, a very good bear, did something very bad today.
There I was, half-awake at 5 a.m. and trying to rub the sleep out of my eyes, when I saw a startling tweet from Paddington: “I don’t like marmalade anymore.” Gasp. I initially assumed it was from a parody account (like this one, which tweeted, “paddington bear has made an NFT (New Friend Today)”), but nope, it was from the official @paddingtonbear. How could he do this to us? Paddington’s love for marmalade is as pure as my love for him — it’s even right there in his bio, “Living in London, originally from Peru. Always keep a marmalade sandwich under your hat in case of emergencies.”
I don't like marmalade anymore.
— Paddington (@paddingtonbear) April 1, 2021
Then I remembered what day today is: the worst day on the internet, April Fools’ Day.
You made me worried 😧at first when I saw the words.
Then I realise it's April Fools' Day 😉 today. Little did I
know your lovely💗joke got the better of me my dear
💖Paddington🐻. I like💕your sense of humour my
— walterquinnhall 🌅🌲🌹 (@walterquinnhall) April 1, 2021
don’t ever scare me like that again. happy april fools bestie <3
— elizabeth (@OsakaThiem) April 1, 2021
paddington say april fools right now or i’ll cry
— rory (@rabtyIerr) April 1, 2021
Young man I know it's April Fools but you have gone too far, today.
— Pyronoid! (@PyronoidD) April 1, 2021
Paddington I know it's April Fool's Day but don't say such things ;-;
— Ash, Like The Tree (@goth_gunnywolf) April 1, 2021
I flipped a table before I realized what day it was. https://t.co/9S7Uv9ErVA
— Caissie (@Caissie) April 1, 2021
i know its april fools but this is too fucked up to even joke about https://t.co/t62Y4TzUEe
— zach silberberg (@zachsilberberg) April 1, 2021
I am both relieved that it’s a prank and disappointed that Paddington would do something so naughty. I’m not saying send him back to prison, but…
Here’s the sort of lovely tweet I have come to expect from Mr. Bear: “It’s nice to see the sunshine and daffodils poking their heads above the soil. Welcome back.” And another: “I must remember to brush my teeth before bed.” And one more: “What shall I do this weekend? I could make some more marmalade or an orange drizzle cake. #BearProblems.” I’d normally say have both, but not after pulling such an evil prank.
Florence Pugh is going to be outraged.