Paddington Bear Pulled The Most Evil April Fools’ Day Prank On Twitter

Paddington, a very good bear, did something very bad today.

There I was, half-awake at 5 a.m. and trying to rub the sleep out of my eyes, when I saw a startling tweet from Paddington: “I don’t like marmalade anymore.” Gasp. I initially assumed it was from a parody account (like this one, which tweeted, “paddington bear has made an NFT (New Friend Today)”), but nope, it was from the official @paddingtonbear. How could he do this to us? Paddington’s love for marmalade is as pure as my love for him — it’s even right there in his bio, “Living in London, originally from Peru. Always keep a marmalade sandwich under your hat in case of emergencies.”

Then I remembered what day today is: the worst day on the internet, April Fools’ Day.

I am both relieved that it’s a prank and disappointed that Paddington would do something so naughty. I’m not saying send him back to prison, but…

Here’s the sort of lovely tweet I have come to expect from Mr. Bear: “It’s nice to see the sunshine and daffodils poking their heads above the soil. Welcome back.” And another: “I must remember to brush my teeth before bed.” And one more: “What shall I do this weekend? I could make some more marmalade or an orange drizzle cake. #BearProblems.” I’d normally say have both, but not after pulling such an evil prank.

Florence Pugh is going to be outraged.