Let’s start this off with a story about Lady Gaga and Sam Elliott. Back in 2018 at the Toronto International Film Festival, I found myself at a mid-day mixer of some sort in support of A Star is Born. (If I recall correctly, I was hungry and there was a promise of complimentary snacks.) As I’m eating some sort of cheese and cracker combination, a publicist asks me if I want to meet Lady Gaga. Now, this is not as exciting as it sounds. Because “meeting” means being brought over to Lady Gaga, who is already surrounded by, my count, about 20 people hanging on her every word. Now, at the time I had no real opinion on Lady Gaga one way or another (in early 2020 I did see her in concert Super Bowl weekend in Miami and, yes, she does put on a terrific show, but I had not experienced that yet at the time), but being added to this already large group surrounding her seemed unappealing. I decided I’d be happier alone with my cheese snack.
I was then asked, “Well, do you want to meet Sam Elliott?” I looked over and Sam Elliott was talking to nobody. Hell yes I want to talk to Sam Elliott.
After some chitchat about A Star is Born (he really is great in that movie, and that is what he was there to promote), I can hear myself saying these words as my brain is yelling, “Wait, what are you doing? Why are you saying this?!?!” (If anyone has ever wanted any insight into how I approach interviews, that last sentence kind of sums it up.) “Hey, so, I have to ask. In Road House, have you ever thought about how the Double Deuce is so fun, people get murdered there on a regular basis, yet it’s always crowded?” Sam Elliott started smiling. I took this as a signal to continue, “No, seriously, how much fun did the Double Deuce have to be? Every time the good people of Jasper, Missouri had a night out at that place they literally were risking death.” It’s at this point I realized Sam Elliott was smiling at me like I was a crazy person. The publicist who brought me over kindly said, “Soooo … I think we’re going to let Sam talk to some other people.”
Anyway, I think about Road House a lot. Now there’s a new version … and it’s awesome.
A lot has been made about whether the new Road House should be in theaters or not (it won’t be). I saw it in a mid-size screening room with a grand total of four other people and I had the time of my life. Yes, show Road House in theaters. Show it at school auditoriums. Show it on bathroom stalls. Road House should be perpetually playing at all times everywhere.
In this re-imagining of the aforementioned 1989 film, we now meet Dalton (Jake Gyllenhaal) cleaning up at some sort of underground fighting league. In fact, other tough guy fighters simply refuse to fight Dalton. Dalton takes their money anyway. It’s here we learn Dalton is a man with a past. Frankie (Jessica Williams) needs a tough guy to clean up her bar in the Florida Keys (I have never been to the Florida Keys but Road House makes it look like the Wild West, which kind of makes me want to visit). This time the bar is just called Road House and it doesn’t take long for some tough customers to cause trouble and it takes an equally short amount of time for Dalton to dispense with them. Dalton does such an effective job, medical treatment is now needed for these saps, which results in Dalton driving them to the hospital. This is where he meets Ellie (Daniela Melchior), who, at first, is not a fan of Dalton’s macho brand.
You see, Dalton is a famous former UFC fighter. After a match goes terribly wrong – Dalton is haunted by this! – he leaves the UFC to, instead, kind of mope around and every now and then fight people. In the original film, people seemed to know Dalton because of his reputation as a bouncer. Which, sure, okay. In this Road House, everyone knows Dalton because he’s a legitimate famous fighter. This aspect is interesting because Dalton is the best fighter and most of these fights are way too easy for him and Gyllenhaal plays all of this with sly glee.
See … this is a great idea for a movie. What more does anyone need? I’ll tell you what you need. You need Billy Magnussen as Ben Brandt, the local head of organized crime and real estate. And Billy Magnussen understands exactly what movie he’s in. You see, Ben Brandt needs the property that the Road House resides on to connect two large properties he already owns. He’s been sending tough customers to Road House to cause problems, but now Dalton is ruining the plan. So to counter Dalton, Ben Brandt calls in a psychopath named Knox (Conor McGregor, who you might be surprised to learn does not give an understated performance here) to kill Dalton. Look, do I even need to say more? From that description alone this is obviously the greatest movie ever made.
Seriously though, I had the best time watching this movie. And I think Doug Liman is correct that it would have killed in theaters. There are soooooo many applause moments. But, alas, that applause will have to be in the confines of your own home now.
Look, I was skeptical of a new Road House movie. This new version certainly isn’t trying to replace the first. But it’s a worthy edition to the Road House family and captures the spirit of what a movie like this should be. I hope they make ten more Road House movies and they are all just called Road House. And I hope, someday, I am once again at an event with Sam Elliott. And I can ask him if he’s seen the new Road House. When he says, “Of course I haven’t,” I can then tell him all about it. Or at least as much as I can before he’s once again whisked away.
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