Remember when the first Sonic the Hedgehog trailer led to an increase in teeth-based nightmares? I’m normally not a fan of billion-dollar movie studios listening to social media backlash, but Paramount was absolutely correct to give in to the mob and redesign the character (meanwhile, I’m still waiting for the fabled “butthole cut” of Cats).
I bring up Sonic because on Monday, the New York Times shared the first image from another popular video game series, Uncharted. Tom Holland plays rugged hero and professional treasure hunter Nathan Drake, while Mark Wahlberg is Nathan’s father figure and fellow adventurer, Victor “Sully” Sullivan.
This is what Sully looks like at his youngest (mid-40s) in the games:
Here is what Mark Wahlberg looks like in Uncharted:
A new look at Tom Holland and Mark Wahlberg in ‘UNCHARTED’ has been released.
— DiscussingFilm (@DiscussingFilm) May 24, 2021
Something appears to be missing. Maybe the Uncharted movie will have a perfectly rational explanation for why Sully — who looks like this in non-flashbacks — doesn’t have a mustache. Maybe he had to shave it off to complete a puzzle (there’s a lot of puzzles in Uncharted) or it was weighing him down while jumping from building to building (there’s even more jumping). But for now, fans of the video games are confused why Sully, whose three character traits are “too old for this sh*t,” “loves smoking cigars,” and “has a mustache,” is not old, isn’t smoking a cigar, and doesn’t have a mustache.
The weird thing is, Wahlberg has teased the Sully mustache (Sully Mustache is an excellent fake name) in the past. So now fans of the game are wondering what happened.
*people seeing clean shaven Mark wahlberg as sully in the uncharted movie*: “you know it’s a prequel right? Sully will be young”
Rare pic of victor Sullivan at 12 months old: pic.twitter.com/vwNke0GUjS
— • j e m m a • (@missxdelaney) May 24, 2021
They didn’t even try to make Mark look like Sully 💀 https://t.co/jNSzO1Kw6n
— 𝔽𝕠𝕩𝔼𝕟𝕘𝕚𝕟𝕖 🏳️🌈 (@ax_zer0) May 24, 2021
Sully maybe your mustache is up there, in that corner of this very clean room pic.twitter.com/kk3y9VGcRZ
— Jeff Bakalar (@jeffbakalar) May 24, 2021
so you’re telling me this is supposed to be sully and nate…🥲 pic.twitter.com/M1F93nozNA
— van – click link in bio! (@drakesnate) May 24, 2021
— SmokeyCloud (@SmokeyCloud) May 24, 2021
no moustache on sully, they've fucked it https://t.co/AAqNqVvuOQ
— iconic video game sex symbol "pac-man" (@vortiwife) May 24, 2021
At least a mustache for Mark’s sully? He did have one when he was younger tf…
Well hopefully this shit is good man. https://t.co/orXEDmoov8
— BZ (@AstraBlackZack) May 24, 2021
Ready for the explanation that treats sully’s mustache like superman’s trunks
“We tried all different types, but at the end of the day, they just didn’t look right”
“We think Sully without the mustache represents a modern take that exists in the grounded world of Uncharted” https://t.co/WgvDnHkHCV
— fleshmonk (comms on sale!!) (@thefleshmonk) May 24, 2021
I gurantee Mark Wahlberg as Sully will have the mustache in one scene and then shave it and make some joke about it https://t.co/MvIMtZtf8r
— Michael (@The_Westbeasty) May 24, 2021
Never forget what they took from you pic.twitter.com/IIAja4NAiO
— Bandicoot (@crack_bandicoot) May 24, 2021
sully doesn’t even have the mustache are you kidding me 😭😭😭 https://t.co/Eo6fXml0ah
— tired of it (@nerdwopinions) May 24, 2021
I still have faith the mustache will appear (maybe it will be a reverse Henry Cavill situation?) and that Uncharted will be as much fun as the games.
(Via the New York Times)