Prepare Yourself, ‘Star Wars: Episode VII’ Might Have Ewoks

Warwick Davis is an awesome person who has done a lot of amazing things in his lifetime. Anybody who can be presented with a movie like Leprechaun and be the best thing about it deserves our respect. Ewoks, however, do not. So we take the news that Davis has signed for Star Wars: Episode VII with some trepidation.

Ewoks are, of course, the fuzzy little marketing ploys that ruined Return Of The Jedi with their cartoonish antics. Basically, George Lucas created a bunch of teddy bears who run around a planet with spears in order to sell toys and inspire disturbing Reddit threads. Our only solace is that the little carpet-suited twits were probably wiped out by the destruction of the Death Star in an environmental apocalypse.

It’s true that Davis might be playing another role; there are plenty of little people doing other jobs in the Star Wars universe. But Disney might be unable to resist the siren lure of characters easily turned into toys. Couldn’t they have just remade Willow instead?