Within the last few years, lists of the year’s worst movies have seemingly turned into a competition to see who can be the meanest about Adam Sandler movies. Most share the same 10 or so movies that you could pick from Rotten Tomatoes based on the worst scores, and every now and then a sly critic sticks a popular box office hit on his list to get the masses riled up. For 2015 I predict that most lists will feature Pixels, Paul Blart 2, and The Ridiculous 6 in their bottom five, because they’re the easy targets. Fish in a barrel, if you ask me.
That’s why, a few years ago, I implemented the No Happy Madison Rule to protect us all from the same old movies on this Worst Movies list, because I take this very seriously. That’s on top of the “No Larry the Cable Guy” and “No Tyler Perry Presents” rules, as well as my respect for originality. So, no sequels, reboots, or remakes, either. But even the rules, which I ended up breaking this year, couldn’t help me avoid a bizarre problem in 2015 – there were too many bad movies. In fact, by March I had more than enough to work with and that made me sad, because I love movies, and I only put myself through this annual torture because we should all want movies to be better.
Because of this, I decided that it’s time for some positivity. It’s time to honor the bad movies that were actually fun to watch because they were so unintentionally bad. Sure, I could pile on The Wedding Ringer for Josh Gad receiving a blowjob from a dog, or write a few hundred words about how Dave Franco in Unfinished Business gave Minions a run for its money in the annoying voices department. I could mock the vanilla wafer actors of The Divergent Series for phoning in Insurgent, or laugh at the way that Aidan Gillen says, “Scorch!” in Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials. I could lament the downfall of comedy with Get Hard’s predictably flat jokes and Hot Pursuit’s awful comedic chemistry, or I could shake my fist at paint-by-numbers offerings like Disney’s McFarland, U.S.A. or Love the Coopers. I could complain that remaking Poltergeist was pointless and the world needed a Jem and the Holograms movie like it needed a Fantastic Four reboot. I could even describe the “That was it?!?!” sensation that I had after two-plus hours of Spectre, and that would all come before the Point Break remake hits theaters on Christmas Day.
But what would be the point? Instead, one movie inspired me to change my ways, and hopefully I’ll change a few minds with this year’s new and improved Best Bad Movies…