55 Year-Old Casino Exec Releases Rap Single, Attempts To Ruin Hip Hop For Everyone

Like most 55 year-old Caucasian males Allen Samuels is one thing by trade and something completely different by passion. But unlike your dad who sells insurance by day and restores old typewriters on the weekends (still pretty weird if you ask me) A. Sams is an Atlantic City casino host whose purpose in life is to come into his own as a hip hop artist in his mid-fifties.

His first single, “Livin De Life,” has dropped, and it’s a train wreck meets a car crash meets Chet Haze meets that time your dad sang karaoke at your birthday party. And before you ask, yes, the track is available on iTunes.

If — like most viewers of “Livin De Life” — things get too awkward and you have to look away I’ve included some running notes from my inner monologue to keep you distracted…

0:13 – Michel Must be equally stoked to be the inspiration for your French guy impersonation.
0:20 – Quit. Pointing. At. Me.
1:06 – Look away! Old awkward white guy dancing.
1:21 – Race Relations = Solved.
1:34 – Tunnel rapping seems reckless.
1:50 – Buckets!
1:53 – Look away! Even older, awkwarder white guy dancing.
2:17 – Worst. Comped. Show. Ever.
2:40 – Cop: “You can’t film in the park.”
3:01 – “Out of the hood”? Ballsy play, A. Sams. Ballsy play.
3:10 – Jason Terry thought he was getting a suite upgrade, not a cameo.
3:17 – We clearly have a different definition of who “MJ” is.
3:33 – Between-the-legs Buckets!
3:45 – Director: “Some guy on the tarmac says he’s calling the cops if we don’t get outta this plane.”

And as an added bonus, my favorite screengrabs…

YouTube via Gawker