At least it was a busy weekend for one Simpson. Ashlee was ignored during #SNL40, despite her hoedown being funnier than any cold open this season, but big sister Jessica and her husband, former San Francisco 49ers tight end Eric Johnson, were so inspired by Fifty Shades of Grey that they staged a bizarre Christian and Ana-esque photoshoot themselves. It’s a far cry from her innocent virgin days, when she would say things like, “God is love and God is my beauty and I am so compassionate about my relationship with God and it makes me who I am right now.”
Then The Dukes of Hazzard happened, and ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.
What I learned here is: Stay faithful to your wife, NFL tight ends.