The process of gender transition is not easy for any transgender person. Our society is such that the process is not easy on the families, loved ones or anyone involved in the transgender community. I know this firsthand because my father began this journey a few years ago. The strain it put on our family has been intense, but we are private citizens, and my father is not in the limelight.
Going through this transition in such a public way, as Laura Jane Grace of Against Me! has, is assuredly intense, as a recent Rolling Stone profile on her points out. But, perhaps that’s why the letter that Laura Jane Grace’s ex-wife Heather Gabel posted on Facebook today is even more heartbreaking to read. Along with her commentary about the story and her own perspective on it, Gabel also shared a letter she wrote to Rolling Stone that she said she has not received a response to.
Gabel manages to write in a calm and collected way about a situation that was surely one of the most difficult situations in her life, calling out the magazine for the way she says the story twisted her words, and educating plenty of readers in the process. Most telling might be her comments about the magazine’s decision to show Grace’s nipples unedited — which she points out they do not do for cisgendered women — and how that is a clear example of misgendering. In her Facebook post, Gabel has posted a version of the photo that censors Grace’s nipples. I won’t spend a lot more time talking about the situation because Gabel’s words speak so eloquently and forcefully for themselves. But this commentary is a must-read for everyone: