Lindsay Lohan Is Going To Die If She Attends Coachella

04.09.13 6 years ago 20 Comments

At least according to her friend, Claus Hjelmbak (his last name is worth 81 points in Scrabble), in an interview with Radar Online. Hjelmbak, a self-described celebrity broker who “[helps] brands connect with celebrities to represent their brand,” wants the troubled, possibly pregnant trash-face to stay away from the California music festival this weekend because “Lindsay is in a very dark place right now.” He added:

Coachella is the last place she needs to be. For someone struggling with addiction, like Lindsay, the amount of drugs and alcohol at Coachella is just a recipe for disaster waiting to happen. I know because I have been to the VIP tent at Coachella in the past. Lindsay can turn it around, but she has to look deep inside herself and get the help she needs. (Via)

That quote also works if you replace “Cochella” with “Yankee Stadium” or “Burger King” or any place, really.

(Via Radar) (GIF via)

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