Nation Scandalized As MC Hammer Admits He Actively Avoids Using Hammers

IEBA 2014 Conference - Day 2
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MC Hammer is a man of many accomplishments. He had a huge hit with “U Can’t Touch This” that, for a little while, made it “Hammer time” the world over. He made Hammer pants happen, even though they were empirically pretty silly. Truly, MC Hammer was, and is, 2 Legit 2 Quit. Alas, there comes a point with many of our heroes when we realize they are but humans of flesh and blood. What we’re trying to say is that MC Hammer is afraid of hammers.

To be fair, MC Hammer never claimed to be a fan of hammers. He picked up the nickname because Reggie Jackson thought that the man born Stanley Burrell, who was an Oakland A’s bat boy, looked like Hammerin’ Hank Aaron. Hammer’s words to the Huffington Post, specifically, were as follows: “Using hammers is always a scary proposition, man. You can hit your fingers. So I try my best to not have to hammer too many things.”

Okay, now that you’ve read that, take a step back from the ledge, because this is almost certainly just a joke. Hammer is currently part of 3M’s campaign to sell hanging strips, and he is currently in a commercial for said hanging strips. The Huffington Post article was set up by 3M, so it’s clearly just another part of the whole advertising campaign. At least, let’s hope that’s the case. Hopefully MC Hammer isn’t truly afraid of hammers. We as a nation may not be strong enough to handle it.

(Via Huffington Post)