People Of Detroit Rise Up To Protest Any And All Association With Nickelback

Poor Detroit. That town just can’t catch a break. For too long it’s been the butt of just about every urban blight-related joke imaginable. However, things have been looking up of late! As was the case with New Orleans after Katrina, hitting rock bottom presents opportunities, and the local economy is on the rise. Even the Lions, the city’s forever-awful NFL team, are suddenly good.

Which brings me to this: for as long as you or I can remember, it’s been an NFL tradition that the Detroit Lions play a game on Thanksgiving day. Typically, this has resulted in Thanksgiving being associated with crap football, as the Lions almost always suck. But this year, things are actually looking up — the Lions are kicking a$s, and they’re scheduled to play their undefeated rivals from Green Way, Wisconsin — the Packers — on Thanksgiving. It’s shaping up to be a hell of a game, which is why many were dismayed earlier this week when it was announced that sex repellant/band Nickelback would be performing at halftime of the game.

Well, thankfully, the people of Detroit are not going to stand for this. It’s one thing to make jokes about the crime and the poverty and Kid Rock, but Nickelback? Oh hell no!

So some Detroit residents have started an online petition at calling for a change in bands to be made…

“This game is nationally televised, do we really want the rest of the US to associate Detroit with Nickelback? Detroit is home to so many great musicians and they chose Nickelback?!?!?! Does anyone even like Nickelback? Is this some sort of ploy to get people to leave their seats during halftime to spend money on alcoholic beverages and concessions? This is completely unfair to those of us who purchased tickets to the game. At least the people watching at home can mute their TVs. The Lions ought to think about their fans before choosing such an awful band to play at halftime.”

Additionally, some of the comments on the petition page are funny as hell…

The Lions are having a remarkable season for the first time in… well, quite some time. *Quite some time.* I honestly understand what a pain in the ass it would be to reschedule this appearance, but please, at least 80% of anyone cognizant of Nickelback’s presence during halftime will be utterly disgusted, whether it’s a legitimate feeling or not. Also you could probably get Kid Rock to do it for free.

Nickelback is the worst group ever. I don’t want to be sitting around with my family and have to listen to even more annoying people.


I proably won’t even watch the game, but if i can help stopping one nickelback gig, i’ll know i have done good work.

Meanwhile, Nickelback has sold over 50 million albums worldwide since 1996, and the Beatles are the only foreign act to have sold more albums in the US than they have, so they’re laughing all the way to the bank. AMURKA!

“I’m really looking forward to seeing Nickelback perform on Thanksgiving.” — Scumbag Steve.