In an attempt to appeal to every demographic known to man, London Olympics organizers have (supposedly) lined up the following acts for the Closing Ceremony this Sunday: Spice Girls (gays/nostalgia fans), the Who (baby boomers), George Michael (gays again), One Direction (tweens), the Pet Shop Boys (gays again again), Muse (people who talk about the technical nature of music, but don’t actually like music), Take That (lonely mothers), and Annie Lennox (gays again again again), as well as Queen’s Brian May, Kate Bush, Kaiser Chiefs, Jessie J, Madness, and Ed Sheeran. Really, it’s going to be SO gay and SO good. They’re all performing under the loose theme of “A Symphony of British Music,” which still doesn’t explain One Direction and Jesse J.
Normally, I’d say I’m most excited for the Who, but Spice Girls fever has hit me hard, and not just because I’ve watched the clip of Jimmy McNulty in Spice World some 40 times this week. Even if you don’t care to admit it, you probably remember more insanely infectious Spice Girls’ songs than you think you do, with the obvious highlights of “Wannabe,” “Spice Up Your Life,” and “Too Much.” And fellas, you know you had the “which Spice Girl is the hottest?” conversation sometime in 1997. I stand by my choice of Emma Bunton.