Add ‘Broken Testicle Veins’ To The List Of Injuries You Never Want To Hear Again

While most people are probably talking about the ankle injury that Neymar suffered in yesterday’s 2-0 Barcelona victory over Getafe, it’s hardly as cringe-inducing as the game’s other notable wound. Getafe defender Alexis Ruano (above, wearing the deuce) had to be carried from the pitch on a stretcher after he experienced what his coach referred to as an “unusual injury,” according to Goal.

The injury? Ruano took a shot to the crotch that broke some veins in one of his testicles, and what happened next might make you reconsider that matzo ball soup you were saving for lunch.

“Alexis has a testicle like this,” he told reporters while gesturing the size of a handball with his hands.

“Some veins were broken. It’s nothing serious. When I entered the changing room, I was scared, but it’s not serious.

“I’ve never seen anything like it.” (Via Goal)

You can say that it’s nothing serious all you want, but when you throw around terms like “broken testicle veins” and compare the size of the guy’s nut to a handball, you’re going to cause a lot of guys to cross their legs and curl up in their desk chairs.

So because I feel awful about even brining this injury up, here’s that one really awesome goal that Lionel Messi scored against Getafe a few years ago. You know, that goal. It’s not like the guy has scored a bunch of awesome goals that you’d need me to elaborate.

(Banner via Getty)