12.19.07 10 years ago 34 Comments

“I want YOU to look at my junk!”” title=”“I want YOU to look at my junk!”” class=”alignright size-full wp-image-41″ />

I'll make this brief, because I've just seen some things I really didn't want to see.  Someone sent me this link to a website for, uh, "COLT Studio Group," and it has news about one of the new American Gladiators.

Yes, it's true…  COLT Man Elian Cortez who appeared in front of Jim French and COLT's cameras a few years back is making his debut primetime appearance on the all-new and revamped American Gladiators show as Militia

In case you don't know what Jim French and COLT's cameras are used for, I'll tell you: they're used for taking pictures of beefy men and their wieners.  Those pictures are available for sale on such fine COLT products as the Naked Muscles Playing Cards, the Butt Beautiful Calendar, and various leather-related items.

As noted by the American Gladiators Blog, "It looks like all he did for COLT was to pose for some nude photos with no involvement in films of any kind."  Which I can totally relate to.  Hunky straight guys like me and Militia often use our looks to profit off of gay mens' lust for us.  Why, when I tended bar at the Man Hole, I made enough in tips on Friday night to cover two months' rent.  And the chaps were really comfortable once I broke them in.

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