11.11.07 11 years ago 8 Comments

The Bayou Bengals of Louisiana State are your new #1 college football team, as the AP have ranked them the supreme squad in the nation. LSU held on to narrowly defeat mighty Louisiana Tech 58-10 yesterday, while former #1 Ohio St. fell to Illinois 28-21.  The Fightin' Illini were led to their upset victory by quarterback Juice Williams who threw for 140 yards on 12 for 22 with 4 TDs. Wow, I know some sweat-shop workers who aren't that efficient.  Illinois' victory hinged on a crucial 4th and inches with 6:53 left in the game:

"I said, 'Coach, you don't think we can get a half an inch?"' Williams said amid the uproar of the postgame celebration. "He looked at me and got on the headset to (offensive coordinator Mike) Locksley. He (Zook) said, 'If you don't get it, I'll hurt you.'" Zook remembered it differently. "Juice said, 'I'll get you an inch,"' Zook said. "I said, 'You'd better.'"

Ha, motivation through corporal punishment is funny. Anyway, if Omar Epps was at this game, he would be all like, "Man, you know what your problem is? You got no juice." to Ohio St. because they lost the wily Illibuck. But if Tupac (God rest his soul) was a LSU fan he would be all like, "One, if I lose, I'm gonna beat that ass. Two, if I lose, I'm gonna beat that ass. So pop two quarters in, pop tart, and let's get this game on, I'll be gettin' that ass!" to all the other teams in the country.  In conclusion, Juice was a good movie, but I wouldn't want to live in Harlem. -KD

P.S. Farewell Orange Bowl, I'll always remember you in all your NSFW glory.   

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