09.09.09 8 years ago 3 Comments

Indians outfielder Grady Sizemore is what passes for a sex object in Cleveland. Actually, anything that’s not covered with staph makes for quality enticement of horniness up there. Hey, if people were actually getting laid up there, they wouldn’t have had time to set their river on fire. Yes, we know that was 40 years ago. No, we don’t care.

Anyway, Sizemore had his elbow scoped earlier this morning [it was inflamed or some crap like that], but he goes back under the knife next week to fix his athletic publagia, which is just as boner-stifling as it sounds.

It is a syndrome characterized by chronic groin pain in athletes and a dilated superficial ring of the inguinal canal. Soccer and ice hockey players are affected most frequently, and both recreational and professional athletes may be affected. A hernia cannot be found on physical examination or medical imaging, and is not revealed during surgery. The term hernia thus is a misnomer, but has persisted… Wiki.

So it’s a sports hernia, which apparently is not a hernia at all. Either way, sounds awesome…ly bad. Man, athletes in Cleveland can’t catch a break. If the city had an NHL team, the rink would melt and half the team would drown. But that would clear the evening for indoor waterskiing, which is the best kind of waterskiing there is. Aside from, you know, outdoor waterskiiing. That’s a little better.


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