01.05.07 11 years ago 5 Comments

I ordinarily don't give two shits about Chicago Sun-Times columnist/ESPN talking head/flaming asshole Jay Mariotti, because I purposefully don't read hacks whose sole purpose is to agitate good-hearted sports fans… but this Friday is slow as fuck and I've got quotas.

Anyway, Mariotti fell ill during his flight to New Orleans to cover the Sugar Bowl — presumably he was going to write a glowing profile of Charlie Weis following another Irish bowl loss — and underwent a procedure to clear a clogged artery in his shriveled, black heart. He is now, apparently, resting comfortably.

Surprisingly, the haters at Jay the Joke are actually wishing Mariotti well. I guess this is some sort of twist like in Unbreakable, when Samuel L. Jackson talks about how arch enemies actually need each other or something. I'd prefer to believe that they just have something much more satisfying lined up… like having Jay torn limb from limb by a peace accord of White Sox and Cubs fans on the 50-yard line of Soldier Field during halftime of next week's Bears playoff game. I'd pay to see that.

Tip o' the Hat: Foul Balls

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