Best Of Luck, Mustached Americans

Senior Writer
10.21.10 8 Comments

The American Mustache Institute has announced its list of 19 finalists for this year’s Robert Goulet Memorial Mustached American of the Year. Sadly, your elementary school lunch lady once again missed the cut. But the sporting world has some well-known names up for this fuzzy honor, including Minnesota Twins pitcher Carl Pavano, Sacramento mayor and former Phoenix Suns guard Kevin Johnson, Chicago Blackhawks coach Joel Quenneville, Major League Baseball umpire Jim Joyce, and the UTEP Miners mascot, Paydirt Pete. Pete is also a nominee for the New Face of NAMBLA competition.

The AMI Goulet awards are not a contest of the greatest mustache, but rather the celebration of the person who best represents mustached Americans. You know, if you put it that way, I have to put my vote with Carl Pavano. Think about it – he took fat paychecks from a large American company to rarely show up for work, was eventually let go, and now he collects paychecks from a smaller American company just to spend the rest of his days on easy street. *wipes away single tear* That’s a gosh-darned American right there.

Rest of the fur-lipped nominees after the jump:

PitchEngine creator Jason Kintzler, firefighter Brian Sheets, Iowa governor Terry Branstad, Carstache creator Ethan Eyler, Access Hollywood’s Pat O’Brien, author Gene Weingarten, director Morgan Spurlock, columnist Jerry Zezima, “personality” Bob $tencil, New Jersey DJ “Spider” Glenn Compton, Dr. Lou Jacobs, North Dakota governor John Hoeven, actor Brandon Wardell, and active U.S. airman SSGT Terry Brown. I was once again excluded due to my inability to grow hair on or around my chiseled jawline.

Feel free to head on over to the AMI web site and place your votes. While I’m inclined to vote for Sheets or Brown, I’m already submitting my write-in vote for my man, and future governor of the fine state of New York, Mr. Jimmy McMillan.

And of course… GOULET!

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