Sports

The Best And Worst Of WWE Raw 3/10/14: Conditioner On Our Bodies

Pre-show notes:

– Preface this week’s column by checking out my official, scientific ranking of all 29 existing WrestleMania main events.

– Occupy Social Media Shares:

– Follow us on Twitter @withleather, follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and like us on Facebook.

Please click through to enjoy the Best and Worst of WWE Raw for March 10, 2014.


Best: The Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Firstly, huge Best to Hulk Hogan for making two appearances since his return to WWE and having neither of them make me break my keyboard with angry-typing hamfingers or roll my eyes so hard it splits my head open horizontally. This brings his all-time streak to two appearances. It got pretty close when he opened his speech with HERE IS A LIST OF GREAT THINGS HULK HOGAN HAS DONE, INCLUDING GORILLA PRESS SLAMMING 9,000 POUND ANDRE THE GIANT OVER HIS HEAD AND SLAMMING HIM AT WRESTLEMANIA 3, LITERALLY KILLING HIM BECAUSE FOR WHATEVER REASON I WANT CREDIT FOR KILLING ANDRE THE GIANT, but it’s his last nostalgia run as an upright human being so I’ll let him gloat and lie about whatever makes him feel important. You don’t correct your great grandma when she’s dying of Alzheimer’s and thinks you’re her boyfriend from the war.

Secondly, I am the world’s biggest mark for both battle royals and unnecessary wrestling trophies, so the announcement of a classic 30-man over-the-top-rope battle royal at WrestleMania for a BRONZE ANDRE THE GIANT is right the hell up my alley. BRONZDRE THE GIANT. If Hogan just shows up to say “hey, the WWE Network is up now!” and “hey, we’re doing a battle royal at Mania for a bronze statue!” I will be his biggest fan. He’s like the opposite of Bad News Barrett. I want Cody and Goldust to be playing with Stackdown toys backstage again only for Hogan to show up all, I’M AFRAID I’VE GOT SOME GOOD NEWS, DUDES and tells them that “Cody Rhodes” and “Goldust” have been added to the series.

Worst: Margaritaville And The Larger John Cena Problem

Oh, John.

John Cena Worst #1: He is here to lick your boots, Jack!

When The Hulkster was done speaking candidly about how much he wanted to watch those old matches he wrestled against guys he hated in real life, John Cena interrupted to announce that he both remembers and likes Hulk Hogan. He talks about watching Hogan bodyslam the Giant at WrestleMania 3 (note: did you know Hulk Hogan bodyslammed Andre The Giant? Because he TOTALLY DID THAT, TELL YOUR INFANT FRIENDS) and says Hogan is great.

This isn’t really an objective Worst because having the current top guy come out and congratulate a past top guy makes sense, I’m just turned off by Cena’s inability to do it without making it sound super phony. It’s sorta like when they were shilling WWE Network and asked wrestlers what they’d want to watch first, and everybody says “WrestleMania I!” like people who loved wrestling enough to become WWE wrestlers haven’t seen f*cking WrestleMania I. I wanted one of them to say “World War 3 1995, because I want to remember which 60 guys WCW found on a street corner and put into chaps so they could wrestle in a 60-man battle royal.” Was EVERYBODY watching WrestleMania 3 on pay-per-view? I wasn’t. I watched it on VHS tape because one of my uncles ordered and taped it and we watched it later. Isn’t that kind of story more endearing? Or does that make the wrestlers too human? I guess Cena would’ve watched it live because his dad’s a promoter, but can’t like, Big E show up and be all, “I watched it when they released that big anthology VHS set in the 90s and laughed my ass off at King Kong Bundy dropping a big f*cken elbow on a midget?”

John Cena Worst #2: You look like you’re from Margaritaville, Jack!”

You probably think I’m madder about this than I am, so I need to explain.

I talk a lot about how Cena never allows himself to be vulnerable and never takes anything seriously. He gets stone-faced about shit and calls people Jack and challenges them to fights right here, right now, but he never seems to really CARE. If time passes, he reverts back to COMEDY JOHN, an insufferable man who always gets the last word and always makes the crowd cheer and clap their hands while staying under a third grade level of intelligence, vocabulary and intensity. He’s horrible.

I also talk a lot about how this causes Cena to dissect characters and destroy them beyond kayfabe. The big example is him pointing out that Alberto Del Rio doesn’t even own the cars he drives to the ring, he rents them. That instantly killed all believability in Del Rio’s character (which had been backed up with stories about him using illegal Canadian workers on his palatial estate and Ricardo Rodriguez’s existence) and made him a non-factor. It was beyond “getting the best of him,” it was a top guy using his ability to say and do whatever he wants to mangle the efforts of someone below him. Also horrible.

Last night, COMEDY JOHN appeared despite having been given several, now no-sold leg and body injuries by a gaggle of cultist hillbillies by disqualifying everything Bray Wyatt said to him with “you’re stupid” and making fun of how he looked. He said Bray had a Cracker Barrel rocking chair and a Hawaiian shirt that made him look like he belongs in a Jimmy Buffet song, which he then sang. It wasn’t even the best WWE performance of Margaritaville, but to Cena’s credit he’s used to being backed up in his musical efforts by Da Trademarc.

I think this is more about Comedy John than anything that actually hurts Wyatt’s character. Wyatt IS in a rocking chair, and he’s wearing a Hawaiian shirt, and as a guy who mocks wrestlers on the reg I have to accept that anything presented in kayfabe is open for mockery. We should probably still live in a “don’t mention that Hogan’s bald” sort of world, but we don’t, and frankly there’s miles between “you look dumb!” and “you’re Husky Harris, I used to beat you up when you were in the New Nexus.” John should take his opponents seriously because that creates drama, and if he isn’t, he should go all the way with it and be that soulless, person-crushing dynastic monster Punk painted him as. But if he’s gonna call Bray a Kung Pao Bitch, let’s at least take solace in the fact that his shitty babytalk didn’t break the fourth wall.

The lasting horror is that Lawler’s never going to shut up about Bray calling himself a God, and JBL’s never gonna shut up about how he looks like Margaritaville.

John Cena Worst #3:

Worst: This Match

Cena’s injury is supposed to be a work (or better yet, a WORKED SHOOT), but he certainly wrestled Erick Rowan like a guy who didn’t want to do anything and had to get out of there as soon as possible. Rowan just kinda shoves him around and forearms him, and then Cena does a rollup, causes 100% complete and total paralysis in Rowan, and gets the three. The Wyatt Family leaves in disappointment, and a now totally fine Cena hangs out with Hulk Hogan and does Most Muscular poses.

Again, this is all pretty par for the course for an unmotivated Cena and Hogan’s nostalgia tour could be a lot worse — he could be big booting and leg dropping Bray Wyatt himself — so I’ll try not to get too worked up about it.

Best: Stephanie McMahon Doing Next Level Heel Shit

I don’t know when it happened exactly, but Stephanie McMahon is suddenly one of my favorite performers on the show.

When Vince McMahon was first transforming into “Mr. McMahon,” he wasn’t a wacky-walkin’ maniac who feuded with God and made people kiss his ass, he was a John Laurinaitis type … an awkward, self-centered businessman who cared more about the WWF “brand” than he did the actual WWF or anyone in it. The reason we hated him so much is because he represented a boss we could actually have. You are going to work for dozens of guys like that, but you’ll probably never get fired by a guy who follows up your termination by filming a prop-heavy skit about him digging things out of your rectum.

Stephanie is achieving next level heel shit by simply going back to what unintentionally worked in the first place. She’s being a scummy person, but one you could know and work for. A boss who is always trying to save face, a boss who thinks she’s right, and most importantly a boss who even when she knows she’s wrong makes something up and then stands firmly behind it as the truth. Listen to her take those “no” chants as support for what she’s saying. She doesn’t miss a beat. It works even better when you realize she’s the mouthpiece of The Authority because she’s the True McMahon, and Triple H is just gonna get instantly, obviously condescending and try to fight somebody.

You are an A+ player right now, Stephanie.

Best: The Usos Are Seriously Rolling

I feel like I give the Usos a Best for the exact same match every week. Am I doing that? They’re basically a Greatest Hits of things Brandon likes about tag teams: decisive victories, great teamwork, matching gear, face paint, a tandem finisher (assuming that the diving tag to the outside + Superfly Splash is the kind of double team they’d animate into a video game), etc. They’ve even made the New Age Outlaws interesting, as I am all in for The Road Dogg’s excuse-making codger character, especially now that he’s openly shaking hands with The Authority and explaining the seriousness of back pain to the announce team. You’re getting me into The Road Dogg.

But yeah, it’s basically every other Usos match. That’s exciting for now, but I’d like to see them use this groundswell of momentum to take on more challenging teams. Give the Wyatts a shot. The Shield, even. Give Cody and Dustin a two-on-two rematch without them having to be in an EVERY TEAM WE REMEMBER match at WrestleMania. Don’t be afraid to let the crowd love them against guys we aren’t sure they can automatically beat.


Worst: !!

Before we move on, what in the sweet hell is going on with Jerry Lawler’s outfit? How could he have possible worn something that made me MISS his Citi Trends shirts with the glittery crowns all over them?

Here’s a link to the shirt if you’d like to buy it yourself. The guy at the Graceland gift shop asked him if he wanted to buy it, and Lawler responded with, “hey, punk … I’ll THINK ABOUT IT!” In all seriousness though, how does a guy who has lived and been a major celebrity in Memphis for 60 years not know a guy who can get him an actual Elvis gold tuxedo? Just wear that. He looks like Jerry Mathers fell down in a Spencer’s Gifts.

Best: The Real Americans Beef Is Keeping Me Interested On Like 2 Minutes Of TV Time A Week

I’ll be honest with you. Having to write 6,000 words every week about the important stuff happening in pro wrestling can be tiresome. I’m not sure how much I have left to say about whether or not CM Punk will come back, or whether or not Daniel Bryan should be in the WrestleMania main event challenging for the title, or what it means to be a fan or how to cheer or how to react or how to treat women or what not to call black people and whoops, I just collapsed and banged my head on the corner of my desk.

It’s exhausting. I write how I feel and I really do care about the stuff I just listed, but sometimes it’s nice to disconnect and enjoy a dumb little passing thing that gets 2 minutes of TV time a week and involves nothing important. That’s why I love shit like the Usos and lose my mind over Adam Rose’s party entrance. My favorite unimportant 2-minute thing right now is the ongoing struggles within the Real Americans team, with budding babyface phenomenon Cesaro slowly starting to realize what a bad ass he is, Jack Swagger getting an inferiority complex about it and Zeb Colter making wacky faces and ordering gestures of friendship to keep them together. It’s great, involves three people I love to watch perform, and doesn’t require uptight analysis. Ideally this column would never be preachy and would just be about how much I loved watching a guy get kicked in the face through a drum.

A tag team that hate each other but sticks together anyway is an underrated wrestling dynamic, and if we’ve got to lose The Shield forever soon, maybe we can keep the Real Americans moving forward as WWE World Heavyweight Champion “Bald Eagle” Antonio Cesaro, Cesaro’s dopey friend from college and their racist uncle.

Best: Paul Heyman Makes The Streak Seem More Important In One Promo Than 20 Years Of Wrestling And A DVD Devoted To It

This is where Paul Heyman is at his very best.

His ultimate (and valid) point is that the myth of The Streak is more important than The Undertaker himself or anything he does, so he wants Taker to back out of the match with Brock Lesnar to preserve it. Lesnar is THE ANIMAL CON CARNE and won’t stop until he’s got piss running down Taker’s bondage pants, or whatever he’s wearing under his DLC Assassin’s Creed cloak.

That would’ve been a great promo by itself, but Heyman makes sure to lace his dialogue with enough information that while you get that Heyman’s shit-talking him, he’s also making him sound like the most important person in the world. Heyman’s little by-the-numbers speech about The Streak made it seem more impressive and important than any epic match ever has. More important than the hype video packages, more important than the multiple THE STREAK Y’ALL blu-rays and DVDs. He pointed out — using wrestling history, my favorite thing in the world — that none of WWE’s biggest and most legendary stars could put together a streak CLOSE to his, calling out Shawn Michaels, Triple H, Stone Cold Steve Austin and Hulk Hogan in the process. How great is that? I watch wrestling obsessively and just wrote a thing about every WrestleMania main event ever and even I didn’t realize what a gap it is. Hogan really did never win more than three in a row. In my brain, Hogan won everything all the time.

This is the latest, most wonderful example of Paul Heyman being the best talker in pro wrestling, maybe the best and most effective talker ever, and we’re lucky to still have him around doing whatever.

Worst: Undertaker Mic Time

On the other hand, as cool as he is, giving mic time to the Undertaker is never a good idea. He walks to the ring and entire arenas get goosebumps. His music plays and people relive the last 20 years of their wrestling fandom. He stands and glares at a dude and a WrestleMania-qualify feud is born. He opens his mouth and it’s WELCOME TO YOUR COUSIN’S E-FED, GET READY FOR SOME DARKNESS.

It’s the worst. He can’t get through a paragraph without visibly forgetting what he’s trying to say and making something up that sounds close enough. THE FEAR OF DEATH IS ALWAYS WORSE THAN THE DEATH ITSELF, BUT THE FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN IS THE WORST FEAR OF ALL~! First of all, pretty sure that’s a Vertical Horizon lyric. Second of all, didn’t Heyman just say that Undertaker’s “fear of the unknown” jazz wasn’t gonna work because HE doesn’t know what HE’s getting into by stepping into the ring with Lesnar? Heyman covered his mouth to show that he was afraid, but I really hope he was muttering “I just said that, motherf*cker” under his breath.

More promos about killing snakes and carrying motorcycles through the desert, please.

Best: TrollShield

Stop making it so easy for me to cheer these guys. Or make it more, who cares, believe in the Shield.

Best: The Rhodes Boys Need Their Push Back, But At Least They’re Still Wrestling The Shield

I’m not sure what happened with Cody and Goldust, but if they’re relegated to battle royal or “fourth team of four” duty at WrestleMania XXX, at least they’re getting a spot on the card. Their match against The Shield last night was predictably good, the first substantially good match on the show and sort of unpredictable in that it gave Seth Rollins the clean duke over Cody instead of Roman.

I got really worried when news of Smackdown reached my village, but if they’re going forward accepting that Seth taught them a valuable lesson about friendship and camaraderie and are looking to him as their de facto leader because they’re CRAZIES, I’m all for it. They put so much effort into getting people to like Roman Reigns and think Dean Ambrose is a recently-birthed scumbag calf that Seth kinda got lost in the rush, and taking some pre-Mania time to refocus on him and establish who he is/what he’s doing is great. He’s the ARCHITECT of The Shield! He draws up the blueprints for their houses! Their houses of COMBAT! He’s the DAYPLANNER OF THE SHIELD. HE WRITES DOWN THEIR MINUTES.

Speaking of being fresh from a cow’s birth canal, the entire team was extra drippy last night. I want a payoff where a fourth guy joins the team a la Winston from Ghostbusters (let’s say Xavier Woods, or maybe someone who’s actually SEEN Ghostbusters) and gets weirded out by how they always wait until the last minute to shower.

“What do you do with the remainder of your Monday?”
“IDENTIFY ZOO ANIMALS.”
“BELIEVE THAT AND BELIEVE IN THE SHIELD.”

Best: Not To TrollRhodes You, But That Movie I Made With Goldust Has A New, NSFW Red Band Teaser Trailer

If you missed the write-up about it earlier today, here’s the new Meet Me There teaser, now NOT SAFE FOR MOST PEOPLES’ WORKPLACES, and you should watch it and share it with everyone you’ve ever met. Uh, anyone over the age of 18, and/or young people you know who aren’t afraid of blood and naked folks.

Our world premiere is in New Orleans on WrestleMania weekend (April 4, to be exact), so that plus Goldust equals relevance to the column. Shut up, yes it does! If I’d put it on the pre-show notes page you would’ve just skipped it!

Anyway, back to jokes about wrestling treasurers and scrotum heads.


Best: Natalya’s El Santo Earrings

Those earrings are the most I’ve ever liked Natalya. I liked them so much I’ll forgive her color commentary just being a dramatic reading of the Wikipedia page for “Hart Foundation Catchphrases.” I wanted her to call herself The Best There Is, The Best There Was And The Best There Ever Will Be, announce that she’s BIZARRE and tell JBL she respects him, bookerman.

Worst: Not Sure If Total Divas Season 2 Or ‘We’re Mad At CM Punk’ Burial

Total Divas season two begins this weekend (sorry, Burnsy), and that means the Divas division once again must become about Nikki Bella unsuccessfully being able to cope with dating a robot and Summer Rae saying SUMP’N SUMP’N. That, combined with the awkwardness of CM Punk’s departure and WWE basically forgetting that AJ has the Divas Championship outside of those two week lightning round builds where she loses non-title matches, more or less makes AJ look like the worst person in the ring.

And sadly? She kinda is. As much as I crap on the Bella Twins for being the shoutiest wrestlers in history (my car alarm just went “Brie Mode”), they’ve been busting their asses for the last year and have some force and weight behind what they’re doing. Sure, Nikki still can’t get both feet up on the dropkick, but she moves around and has the gravitational call-and-response of a grown human. AJ’s just this weightless, absent-minded thing wandering around in circles during matches, both literally and figuratively, and while I assume not a lot of it is her fault, it ain’t great. She doesn’t seem like she wants to be out there, and between her and Punk we aren’t getting a lot of help from long-reigning champions in the “you should let champions stay champions for a while” conversation. Does the new WWE generation get complacent the second they get what they always dreamed of? Is that just us as a society?

I don’t know. That’s a heavy conversation. Let’s talk about LL Cool J.

Best: Ladies Love Conditioner James

I’m so, so happy WWE Fan Nation put this up in its entirety. The Undertaker droppin’ thunder on fakers! LL Cool J is giving a hip interview, guys, and he’s doin’ it and doin’ it and doin’ it well!

Watch NCIS Los Angeles! It has WITTY BANNER

ACTION

PEOPLE GETTING IT IN

Also, conditioner on their bodies. Where the hell did LL Cool J get the idea that wrestlers are putting conditioner on their bodies? Didn’t he sit through a Shield match earlier? Is he talking about their wet hair? Did they put in some leave-in conditioner and forget to rinse it out, so it dripped down onto their bodies? I really want a follow-up question of, “what the hell are you talking about, LL Cool J.” Furthermore, this interview should’ve ended with Chris O’Donnell getting hit by a train.

Yes, that was a Fried Green Tomatoes joke.

Best/Worst: Occupy Raw

I am not going to get snarky and pessimistic about my favorite wrestler getting everything he ever wanted. Nope.

This is the only way WWE can deliver a WrestleMania that satisfies people and closes out the stories they’ve been building since last summer without CM Punk around. Daniel Bryan officially gets to play both his and Punk’s storylines, running up against Triple H in a marquee match at Mania with the stipulation that if he wins, he gets inserted into the WWE World Heavyweight Championship match. That’s as good as we can POSSIBLY get, right? He gets both matches, there’s a great (and almost unreasonable otherwise) chance that he’s going to win them both, we get the people’s hero defeating the company’s most evil villain AND beating its two least popular representatives of the boring, post-Benoit era of middling to become an UNDISPUTED CHAMPION. At the end of the show, in front of the company’s biggest audience, at their biggest show ever.

Please read that and take it to heart, because I mean it. I’m happy for him, and when he wins the championship at Mania I will cheer my heart out.

That said, the gathering of the juggalos that happened in the ring kinda made him look like a peener to me, and I kinda wanted Triple H to summon Brock Lesnar and have The Beast Con Carne disembowel the entirety of Protest WrestleCon. There are three explanations as to why this is, with the longer one being that Bryan is commanding a grassroots protest of Raw full of people who paid to come to Raw and are wearing his t-shirt, which they paid WWE (and by proxy, the Authority) 30 dollars to own. It’s like sitting in at an Apple Store and playing with your phone. Plus I know it’s part of the show, but the last thing we should be doing is the WCW “throw garbage into the ring, everybody” act where you portray ruining the show as a cool thing for fans to do. I mean, unless it’s true that fans can hop the rail and sit it on shows to demand what they want. If that’s the case, I’m wearing my Nexus shirt to the next Raw in Austin and protesting until they reform the Nexus.

The third and most easy-to-understand reason is that the Yes Movement included this guy:

I’m not going to be a part of any movement that’d have Sign Guy as a member. “WWE pays me to be at shows! I hate WWE!”

Worst: Poor Damien Sandow

“You all, and that includes all of you” is my new favorite Triple H quote. Right ahead of “GIVE IT TO ME, CHUBBY, COME ON, AWW YOU PETERED OUT.”

The Authority is SO DAMN AWESOME in this scene. Triple H does his condescending act as hard as he can, bringing out the saddest two-man security team ever. What, were all the local indy workers busy being Yes Movement members? He also tried to just start the next match, ignoring the people in the ring, and sent out Damien Sandow. Poor Damien Sandow not only proved ineffectual, he wasn’t important enough to make it into either WWE Fan Nation recap video. I wish he’d just gotten into the ring and wrestled on top of everybody. I also wish his opponent had been Bad News Barrett, and the BNB pillar had risen up from the center of the ring and sent bodies flying like the Granfaloon in Castlevania: Symphony of the Night. Extra points if it suddenly has lasers.

Anyway, HHH’s tactics don’t work and he gets madder and madder. Stephanie tries to chime in and save the day with some misguided management logic but nobody’s listening, and it devolves her into THE SHOUTING DEVIL. It’s so good, you guys. Triple H ends up accepting all of Bryan’s terrorist demands in true business heel fashion, screaming and kicking and screaming and having to be led away while his tie flails around. Really well done all around, even if the darker side of me wants to see Hunter pedigree about 50 t-shirt jabronis on the concrete to end a Raw.

Bryan defeating Triple H in a long match, going into the championship match with rib tape on and managing to triumph is what everybody’s calling, right? I can think of two things that’d make it more interesting:

1. If Triple H kisses Stephanie for good luck before his match, turns around and eats a knee for a pinfall loss in 18 seconds to put Bryan over AND justify that WrestleMania 28 horseshit I will probably never get over, or

2. Triple H cheats and blasts Bryan with a sledgehammer, pedigreeing him and pinning him in front of the MADDEST CROWD EVER. This one comes with the disclaimer that either Vince or Hulk Hogan (having LIMITLESS GUEST HOST POWERS as established in WrestleMania 27’s main event) come out, stop everything and award Bryan a DQ win, sending him to the main. Then he wins THAT, making him the Bret Hart at WrestleMania X of WrestleMania XXX.

Third suggestion: Bryan wins, but then has to fight his way through an upside down WrestleMania.

Best: Tell Me If You’ve Beat Christian, Child, And I Said, “Ma’am I Have Tonight!”

Or, “Christian wrote a song. He wrote a song for you. And it was called yellow.”

I’m guessing they’re building to a Sheamus vs. Christian blowoff at WrestleMania, but if every single match in the feud has ended with Christian losing including one where he got kicked through a goddamn drum, the only possible payoff is Christian standing on stage with a sniper rifle and murdering him. I keep expecting Christian to get consumed with rage and sprout an extra pair of arms or something. At least it’d explain the weird body color.


Best: Watching This Alexander Rusev Promo Is Just Like Rocky IV!

He’s gonna strangle Adrian to death like Clubber Lang did in Rocky II, and then Paulie’s robot’s gonna kill him like in Rocky V!

I kinda want NEMANYEHHH every week and a calmly-spoken series of Bulgarian threats spoken from the top of a tiny podium. Also, his entrance theme makes me want to fight Kefka.

Best/Worst: GoatShow vs. Ortista

I’m not even sure why Big Show was IN this match. I guess if you’re gonna have the son of Andre The Giant (cough) win the first-ever Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal it’s a good idea to get him some visibility on the show people watch, but whatever. I wanted Bryan and Show to come out in matching red tights with flames on the legs and call themselves SYPHONED HEAT.

The match was fine, but I don’t really remember it. I like Bryan getting another clean win — over Orton, notably, and not Batista — but he’d already commanded a legion of fans to storm the ring and demand a series of high profile matches at WrestleMania XXX against the show’s three top villains, so is “winning a tag team match” really the climax? They should’ve just done this on Main Event. Also, now that I write it out like that, I want Bryan to beat Triple H, Orton and Batista and think he’s won only to be challenged for one FINAL fight by the Necron version of Ric Flair.

See what Alexander Rusev’s music is doing to me?

Best: Top 10 Comments Of The Week

wwespn

after watching the YES movement/Occupy RAW, I can safely say the number of people around the ring and inside it was more than the attendance for TNA Lockdown.

hobbitcore

Kane really needs to stop letting his hair grow. He looks like a gigantic Charlie Brown.

mindtaker

So… all this time, you literally had an entire trailer full of guitars, yet you stood by and let me do all that invisible crap with my hands for YEARS?!

– Heath Slater

Beerguyrob

Christian & Sheamus should form a team called “Yellow Snow”.

Marczak

Batista: So that’s how I get in better condition?
Daniel Bryan: Yes, movement.

LBCS

I think Triple H just said “You bet giraffe”

Breaking Hurd

I would like to see Kofi find an unconventional way through the Occupy crowd into the ring

Fancy Catsup

That’s karma for you. Sandow finally gets a RAW match, and its ruined by unwashed masses.

Thrillhouse

I guarantee one of the Shield members has tear gas on him..just sayin’.

Armando Payne

No Bryan that is not how you do Adam Rose’s gimmick.

Thanks everybody. Occupy next week.

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