Claude Giroux Got Arrested Last Night For Groping A Male Police Officer’s Butt

07.02.14 4 years ago 8 Comments
Claude Giroux arrested

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We thought yesterday’s story of WWE Diva Emma getting arrested for forgetting to pay for an iPhone case at a Walmart was the weirdest sports arrest story we’d report this week, but hahaha, nope.

According to reports, Philadelphia Flyers captain Claude Giroux spent Tuesday night in an Ottawa jail for “repeatedly grabbing the buttocks of a male police officer.” Not “grabbing the buttocks,” but repeatedly. Let’s see how explained the incident. I’m hoping “gummy venus” is involved.

According to a report by the Ottawa Sun published Wednesday morning, Giroux was at a bar in Ottawa’s Byward Market shopping district. The Sun’s story stated that “alcohol was believed to have been involved” in the incident.

You don’t say.

The Ottawa police department declined to comment publicly to the Sun, but the newspaper’s sources said Giroux will likely be released without being charged with any criminal offenses.

Claude himself released a statement aimed at people who’ll be making “remember when Giroux got sent to jail because he wouldn’t stop goosing a police officer” jokes for the rest of their lives:

A few notes:

– It is not necessary to have the “how upset would you all have gotten if it was a FEMALE police officer??” argument in the comments section of this blog post. I know it feels necessary, but we promise it isn’t. Claude shouldn’t be repeatedly grabbing anybody’s butt against their will, which is why he went to jail.

– If Sidney Crosby gets arrested for public urination, soliciting sex or trying to pick up a publicly urinating prostitute, we’ll update our “how weird was this” arrest charts.

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