Cristiano Ronaldo’s Statue Has A Massive Erection

“Mr. Ronaldo, you have a massive erection.”


[looks at statue]

“Yes I do.”

“Um, I’m sorry, it’s the pleats. It’s the optical illusion on the pants. It’s not in flattering the crotchal region. I’m actually taking it back right now…to the pants store.”

Well this is awkward.

This statue of Ronaldo was erected in his hometown of Madeira, Portugal. “Erected.” I’m five-years-old, obviously.