01.19.09 9 years ago 29 Comments

Heat guard Dwyane Wade and his his high school sweetheart Siovaughn are finally making their divorce official, and it’s just unpleasant as that time your parents split up because you were such a horrible child.  Siovaugn claims that Dwyane gave her an STD and that their children barely know him, among other things.

Dwyane, named a ”Father of the Year” in 2007 by the National Father’s Day Committee, has gone ”months” without seeing his boys, Siohvaughn says. His ”failure to spend time with them… has resulted in the children at times being afraid of him; in fact, [son] Zion… does not recognize or know Dwyane.” She wants sole custody, and support.

To be fair, Zion’s a year-old baby.  And babies are idiots.

She also says she has suffered ”grievous physical, emotional and mental injury” from the STD, diagnosed in the fall of ’07. (The infection is not HIV or a ”killer thing,” sources say.) Dwyane and his ”paramour or paramours” are liable, she alleges.

Obviously, Wade and his lawyers deny all this, but let’s face it: Siovaugn’s gonna be rolling in dough by the time this is over.   I’m not very good at cultivating sources, but the rumor I’ve heard for years is that D-Wade is one of the biggest pussy hounds on the planet.  So, maybe the lesson here is don’t marry your unattractive high school sweetheart.  It’s a good rule of thumb for future NBA stars and, oh, EVERYBODY ELSE ON THE F’ING PLANET.

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