FlipBoardHeat guard Dwyane Wade and his his high school sweetheart Siovaughn are finally making their divorce official, and it’s just unpleasant as that time your parents split up because you were such a horrible child. Siovaugn claims that Dwyane gave her an STD and that their children barely know him, among other things.
Dwyane, named a ”Father of the Year” in 2007 by the National Father’s Day Committee, has gone ”months” without seeing his boys, Siohvaughn says. His ”failure to spend time with them… has resulted in the children at times being afraid of him; in fact, [son] Zion… does not recognize or know Dwyane.” She wants sole custody, and support.
To be fair, Zion’s a year-old baby. And babies are idiots.
She also says she has suffered ”grievous physical, emotional and mental injury” from the STD, diagnosed in the fall of ’07. (The infection is not HIV or a ”killer thing,” sources say.) Dwyane and his ”paramour or paramours” are liable, she alleges.
Obviously, Wade and his lawyers deny all this, but let’s face it: Siovaugn’s gonna be rolling in dough by the time this is over. I’m not very good at cultivating sources, but the rumor I’ve heard for years is that D-Wade is one of the biggest pussy hounds on the planet. So, maybe the lesson here is don’t marry your unattractive high school sweetheart. It’s a good rule of thumb for future NBA stars and, oh, EVERYBODY ELSE ON THE F’ING PLANET.
“Look to the cookie, Dwyane.”
– Jason Kidd
In the good ole days, Wilt didn’t marry any of them, he just got his and left 20,000 + times… good ole days.
They’d still be married if, after the babies, Sio-vaughn hadn’t turned into Mo-vaughn.
….She also says she has suffered ”grievous physical, emotional and mental injury” from the STD…
What did Dwayne give her? Leprosy? Hot Dog fingers? Count Choculitis?
Hell for the amount of money a divorcee of Dwayne Wade can get, he can give me all of the above and I’ll even let him fart on my cereal!
Is Wade Still in Charles Barkley’s favorite 5?
He just got Love and Basketball’d
I can’t imagine anyone saying publicly that they have an STD if, in fact, they don’t.
Is Wade Still in Charles Barkley’s favorite 5?
Where do you think he got the STD from?
We have to tell ladies we have an STD before giving it to them now? Fuck that noise. I prefer the awkward conversation when she finally realizes it was me.
D-WADE: ALWAYS FUCKING DOUBLE-BAG IT, SON…ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE IN INDY FOR THE PACERS! THEM FUCKING MIDWEST HOGS WILL GIVE YOU SHIT THAT WILL ROT YOUR FUCKING DICK OFF!
Do you want me to be a good father, or do you want to watch me to hit jumpshots?
Jumpshots! Jumpshots! Jumpshots!
@Hef
A while back I found out an ex had been getting more strange than I thought so I got tested again. Between when I got tested and when I got the results back – negative ::HIGH FIVE!:: – I told then current chick the situation and suggested she get tested as well. Chick hits the ceiling. Me being a nice guy, I said, ‘I guess if you hadn’t got drunk and let some guy you met that night – me, obviously – hit it bareback then and ever since we wouldn’t be having this conversation.’
True story.
I said TRUE story. I didn’t say funny story.
“I took an AIDS test, passed, got a 75!”
Chris Rock
I sure hope Dwyane didn’t give her IADS or hepres or wrats.
/see, his first name is spelled all weird
//it’s funnier when you explain it, right?
I’m guessing Zion is the only member of that family whose name doesn’t get a red underline from my Spellcheck
She should have known since the tenth grade that D-Wade’s signature move is taking it strong to the hole.
So D Wade was around the corner the night Sir Charles got pulled over? It’s all coming into focus.
::strokes chin::
Why do you ask…. I think it is funnier when you explain. It makes you seem all smarmy and dickish, which is like adding funny sauce to a dish. So for me adds to the funny..
I remember when my kids were one yr old… there is a day when they realize their hand is attached to their body, so I am cutting D Wade some slack on that angle of the kid not knowing who he is.
Funny sauce is added to jokes?
Wait…what?
It had a whole different use when we used it after confession. You know…when I did my penance.
If he didn’t didn’t make so many back door cuts he would have never been in this situation…
They named thier kid after a Toyota? My bad that is a SCION.
Do they call her STDiovaughn now?
Is Wade Still in Charles Barkley’s favorite 5?
i think he just moved to #1
“The infection is not HIV or a ”killer thing,” sources say.”
This is why Magic is still the best. Kids these days. Pfft.
I guess that Wade’s piss gives “Miami Heat” a whole new meaning.
Shawn Kemp is not only not impressed, but actually shoo’ed away this story with his hand.
Hmm, he’s black right?
By now don’t we all know that eventually all black guys are going to abandon their children and pass STD’s around? I guess she’s lucky she hasn’t caught a beating….yet.
Number 3 is totally tea bagging number 5.