The ‘Game of Thrones’ Old School MMA Tournament, Round 2: The King’s Landing Division

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Last week, we kicked off our 10-week tournament to see which beloved character from Game of Thrones would reign supreme in an old school, UFC-style MMA tournament with The Winterfell Division, and without spoiling anything, I’ll just say that all four matches were absolute blowouts. I’m talking Game 2 of the NBA Finals numbers here, folks. Will things change with this week’s Kings Landing Division? I can’t say for sure, but definitely not in a couple of these matches!

Gregor “The Mountain” Clegane vs. Loras Tyrell

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Oof, talk about a tough first outing for “The Knight of Flowers” aka Loras Tyrell. When we last saw with the most famous sword-swallower (his Grandma’s words, not mine) in Westeros do battle, he dropped an always humiliating submission via strikes loss to the High Sparrow, which doesn’t exactly bode well for his chances against a 6’9″, 400-pound undead zombie person with a penchant for ripping his opponents spines from their bodies. I mean, the only thing the High Sparrow liked more than branding his love for the band HIM into his follower’s foreheads was talking about how trash his knees were, and for a fighter of Tyrell’s caliber not even attempt to exploit that come game time was a disappointing development, to say the least.

Gregor Clegane aka “The Mountain”, however, will be entering this tournament on an almost unprecedented win streak, with victories over his brother Sandor Clegane, Elia Martel, Rhaenys Martel, Aegon Martel, and an incredible come-from-behind victory over “The Viper” Oberyn Martel. This man fought “The Irish Tiger” Conor McGregor to a draw, for God’s sake, and should be a favorite to win this entire tournament.

Ser Bronn of the Blackwater vs. Jamie Lannister

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For clarity’s sake, let’s say that the version of Jamie Lannister competing in this tournament is the current, one-handed version. BUT. But. Let’s not assume that a one-handed man in a face punching contest is automatically at some kind of major disadvantage here. Nick Newell only hand one hand and still managed to defeat 13 out of his 14 opponents (with his lone loss coming against human violence machine Justin Gaethje), so let’s not act as if one of the most skilled knights in the history of King’s Landing doesn’t have some fight still left in him.

That all said, Lannister is facing a stiff test in Ser Bronn of the Blackwater, one of the craftiest vets in the game and a man who just so happens to have served as a trainer to Jamie Lannister in his current iteration. He may not be the biggest guy in the game, but his victory over Ser Vardis Egan showed that he more than makes up for it with speed and strategy. Let’s go to the tape: