Reddit can be a horrifying place sometimes. Other times it’s an interesting spot, where people share stories that captivate you. And sometimes, those two worlds intersect, like they did during the AskReddit thread “Golf caddies of Reddit – do you overhear a lot of business gossip? If so what’s the juiciest thing you’ve witnessed/overheard?”
As you can guess, the fine caddies of Reddit decided to come together and share some pretty gnarly stuff. And by “gnarly stuff,” I mean “unsurprising stories about people doing drugs while they golfed.”
I’m a caddy for the wealthiest country club in my college town. I’d say the drug use is the juiciest thing I’ve witnessed. Those old men like their pills.
Been a caddy for 11 years at a very high end resort. Been a great job. I’ve heard a lot of stock tips, seen a lot of drug use (pills, cocaine, mushrooms ect.) and seen a lot of celebrities and have witnessed 5 hole in ones.
I used to be a caddie. I overheard a group of wealthy business owners asking about strippers and cocaine and where they could find some. The club I worked at had something considered cottages where wealthy guys would stay for the weekend and get drunk and play golf. Needless to say we found what they were looking for and charged a premium.
Additionally, there are plenty of stories about people overhearing rich folks talk about business. One ex-caddy was explicitly told never to go to a certain fast food establishment…
I was a caddy in highschool, and while I heard some things there wasn’t much I understood about business at the time so I mostly tuned it out. One thing I do remember, however, was a man who ran some sort of consumer health/safety monitoring group for fast food restaurants, who told me very explicitly to never eat at Arby’s.
…while another had a friend who made some serious dough just by overhearing a conversation.
A friend of mine drives a golf cart for a few rich people and he made 20 grand two years ago by listening to the stock advice one guy gave to the guest he brought.
One trend that popped up in this thread is that a ton of caddies have heard stories of people talking about their marriages and how they’re looking for love outside of them.
I caddy for my girlfriends dad for extra cash here and there. Mostly for his doctor friends and a lot of them are f*cking their nurses and hygienists. Oh and he’s f*cking Tim’s wife, but Tim doesn’t tip so…
Heard multiple members both men and women talk about their adventures of infidelity in their marriages.
I guess the juciest things that ever happened were guys talking about how they know that their wives are sleeping with the pool boy while they’re out golfing, but they want to stay together for kids or so she doesn’t get all his money.
While there are a ton of other pretty weird stories in here – including a few about dudes beating animals to death with their clubs – one final story stuck out because some dude just transcribed Carl Spackler’s Dalai Lama story from Caddyshack.
So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock.
So, I tell them I’m a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald… striking. So, I’m on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one — big hitter, the Lama — long, into a ten-thousand foot crevice, right at the base of this glacier. And do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga…gunga — gunga galunga.
So we finish the eighteenth and he’s gonna stiff me. And I say, “Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know.” And he says, “Oh, uh, there won’t be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consiousness.” So I got that goin’ for me, which is nice.
Give this person a lot of credit for transcribing a nearly 200-word monologue in an attempt to get upvotes.