Golfer Sucks, Lights Course On Fire

Senior Writer
09.03.10 5 Comments

Shady Canyon Golf Club in Irvine, California recently reopened after a four-month hiatus, proudly boasting upgraded fairways for golfers throughout the Golden State to enjoy. Top notch facilities they offered at this prestigious public course, and if these last two sentences had you packing your Callaway knockoffs for a weekend excursion, well don’t bother. Only hours after the course reopened, an unnamed golfer was hitting a shot out of some brush, when his iron struck a stone, sparked and started a huge fire. Somewhere the lead singer of Prodigy put down his mop and smirked, “Nice.”

Initially, people accused the golfer of having started the blaze with an errant cigarette, but it was later concluded that nobody in his group smokes, and that it was indeed possible for a steel or titanium gold club head to create a spark when hit against a rock. More than 150 firefighters used 38 trucks and 53 helicopters to displace 22,000 gallons of water from a lake on the second hole to put the fire out. When the firefighters finished they threw their hose nozzles into the emptied lake and 6 drunken golfers jumped in to retrieve them.

Quiet please, there is some scientific evidence to present, Golf Digest:

Dr. Martin Brouillette, a professor of mechanical engineering at the University of Sherbrooke in Quebec, and a member of the Golf Digest Technical Panel, said he thought it was possible for a steel-headed wedge colliding with a rock to cause a spark and generate enough heat to start a fire. “To produce sparks for fires we use flint and steel,” said Brouillette. “When you strike a wedge and hit a rock, you can go through the coating on the wedge and get particles of steel to fly off. Steel is made of mostly iron and when you have particles of iron flying through the air they can react with the oxygen, which produces a lot of heat. If those particles land in extremely dry grass, it ignites.”

So blah, blah, blah this guy starts a fire but all is well and the golf course is going to install more irrigation because this is actually the second time this has happened. And I was gonna make a lame joke about my terrible golf game, but did the Golf Digest writer seriously need to include the blurb about the St. Louis Cardinals? I already feel like a Cubs fan right now, I didn’t need some golf jockey rubbing in it. Oh well, at least I have the Rams. *gunshot*

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