02.27.09 9 years ago 11 Comments

Ca$h Cow says, “Pack yo bags. We headin’ to tha District!”

NFL free agency has started with a bang. Reports are out that Albert Haynesworth will sign with the Washington Redskins in blockbuster deal worth $100 million or so over seven years. And SI.com is reporting that the ‘Skins are also shelling out $54 mil for troublemaking cornerback DeAngelo Hall. And then Dan Snyder went out and spent five bucks for a pack of gum, and then took one piece out of the pack and threw the rest away. That guy really hates gum. Allegedly.

In other free agent news, Manny Ramirez turned down a one-year offer that would have paid him $25 million this year. And then like 93 girls wanted to have sex with him and he turned all of them down. Why does everybody hate gum? What did gum ever do to you people?

SITE NEWS: Saint Andrew’s Net will run around noon today. Because I’m your father, that’s why!

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