Here’s The Saddest, Most Pathetic Fantasy Football Email That You Will Ever Read

As always, I’d like to preface this post about fantasy football by saying that I do not, under any circumstance, believe that I am an expert. And as always, I will say that anyone who claims to be a fantasy football expert and does not win his or her league every year and post the results for us to see is a douche liar. I’m just a dude who loves competition among friends and a reason to cheer a little harder for games I don’t give a sh*t about on Sundays.

That said, I take fantasy football way too seriously sometimes. Everyone does. But a friend forwarded me an email yesterday morning (from a friend of a friend of a friend) and I believe that we have found THE person who takes fantasy football way too seriously. WAY TOO SERIOUSLY. Now, I need to make a few things clear:

1) I do not know the person who wrote this email. It was forwarded to me through multiple parties, so I can profess my ignorance if the person who wrote it comes hunting for my blood.

2) I have left out the names of the people involved, as to not humiliate the people involved.

3) I have also edited out some mentions of work and school, so that it’s even harder to identify the people.

Basically, I expect to receive an email at some point from one really angry fantasy football commissioner, but until then, I present to you a 100% real fantasy football email that proves that we all take this stuff way too seriously.

UPDATE: Fun’s over. :(

Three thoughts: 1) The guy that this was written about needs to have the nickname Taco from here on out. 2) Just replace him. If a bro doesn’t draft or call you back, replace him. It’s simple. Save your thousand words and move along. No need to get all finger waggy. 3) Maybe he’s dead. Someone should probably go by his place and check on him.