Hot Carmelo Sundae Update: Carmelo Still Hasn’t Left Yet

Attention whore LeBron James should be happy more people are focusing on where Carmelo Anthony could go instead of his stupid f-cking excuses about his tweets. Every time he does something that would make him look like a jackass, he retracts his statements and looks twice as stupid.

Anyway, now that I got that LeBron hate out of the way on this post that has nothing to do with him, we’ve got updates on this Carmelo Anthony situation: he still has not left the Denver Nuggets yet. He could go to the New York Knicks (he and Amar’e could be BFFs) or the New Jersey Nets (way more likely). Also, he said he’ll be playing in tonight’s game against the Miami Heat (hey, it came full circle), so he won’t be gone for at least today.

I know some people are saying that the Nuggets should keep Anthony and try to negotiate with him at the end of the season, but the offers that they’re getting are too hard to resist. First of all, the guy’s probably not going to stay in Denver. That place is cold seemingly all the time. Anthony has said that he wants to play in a bigger market. You might as well get what you can for Anthony right now and not lose out on anything. It’s not like the Nuggets are going to make it to the Finals anyway; they’ll get beat by the Lakers in (choose your round). Think about it: would you rather play in Colorado or New York? I don’t like to do anything in the snow (besides pee in it), so I prefer the urban setting of the most charming city on the East Coast with the most charming people who live in it. That homeless man in front of Saks Fifth Avenue is showing you his penis because he likes you, dear.

Normally I would get pissed about all this focus on one player in the NBA, but it’s actually pretty neat. This trade could have three teams and a ton of players, which impacts the league significantly. Think of all that talent swapping around uniforms. I’m just hoping that whatever Carmelo does, he gets rid of LaLa Vasquez. That screaming banshee needs to be sent to Antarctica or just somewhere not here.