Hey, what day is it? A day that ends in –y. That means that former UFC icon and champion Tito Ortiz and his on-again, off-again, on-again, off-again girlfriend or wife or ex-wife or whatever Jenna Jameson are fighting. I don’t know if I could even count on both hands how many times I’ve read or written about when these two fight, so I’m just going to accept that it’s the norm and not even bother looking up what the reason is this time.
That’s mainly because Jenna took care of the research for my crack staff of fact checkers by launching quite the Twitter rant about how Tito has allegedly taken her children away. This is a subject that she’s been Tweeting about for quite some time now, but this time she’s alleging that Tito tried to kill her, and to get back at him and win her children back, she swore that she was going to Tweet pictures of Tito’s drugs.
Then I assume people yawned and said, “Whatever, show us your cool drug photos” and she did.
Heavens to Betsy, a UFC fighter might have cheated his drug tests? Excuse me while I faint.
Again, big f*cking deal.
Okay, I’m listening.
Pretty sure those drugs have expired. You should dispose of them properly.
Someone get Sally Field’s agent on the phone.
So many jokes to be made. So so many.
What if a robot took her kids? That would be scary.
Replied God, “Don’t get me wrapped up in this crazy sh*t.”
That’s not really the case, Double J. It’s more like Crazy v. Crazy.
Does anyone really think that Tito Ortiz is a great person?
“Great,” said the guy who followed her hoping for some boobie pics from her heyday.
What if we choose not to care about it?