Here's Jessica Simpson and Cowboys QB Tony Romo courtside at last night's Lakers-Mavericks game. And since Jessica's presence at two Cowboys games resulted in losses for the home team, she should naturally be held accountable for the Mavs' loss as well.
I mean, yeah, Dallas was going up against the best player and possibly the best team in the NBA, but to credit the Lakers with a win would diminish the devastating effect that Jessica Simpson's presence had on the Mavericks. I won't sit here and listen to some pseudo-scientific statistical babble about "defensive effort" and "shooting percentage" — whatever that is — when I can blame a tabloid-friendly starlet.
Get out of town, you cursèd harlot! Take your bad luck someplace where it won't affect Americans! Go back to