05.14.09 9 years ago 9 Comments

An Australian jockey was suspended 18 months for handing off urine to another jockey to beat a drug test. Why are jockeys being tested for drugs? Does Australia just have a surplus of those little cups?

Queensland Racing Limited’s integrity counsel officer Allison Finlay, formerly with the Australian Crime Commission, told Halliday that Evans had conspired with jockey Donna Carrigg to deceive stewards by supplying an instrument containing his urine to be used as a substitution for hers.

That inquiry heard Carrigg was found by stewards to have in the arm of her riding jacket a tied condom filled with urine and containing a sharpened lollypop stick.

A lollipop stick? Just how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tinkle Pop? Sorry, I’m just so grossed out by this whole thing. The only appropriate place to pass that sort of thing is in a toilet or onto the face of a sexual partner receiving cash. Service with a stream, I like to call it.

|Morning Bulletin (G’Day, Mate!)|

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