I Want To Drown The Guy Who Made This In The River Of Dreams

It’s Friday, and in a week where the biggest stories on the Internet were (simultaneously) the horrible truths behind the Jerry Sandusky scandal and Daniel Tosh getting all I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA about rape being funny, I’d just as soon throw up a bunch of funny videos and tuck-and-roll my way the f**k out of it.

In that spirit, here’s a fan-made Billy Joel parody about Detroit Tigers ace/All-Star Game ruiner Justin Verlander hooking up with fanatical With Leather crush Kate Upton because everyone in Michigan is an asshole. Upton kinda sounds like “uptown”, and Billy Joel something something Uptown Girl.

Incredible, real song lyric sample:

He’s been living in his baseball world

As long as anyone with fastballs has

And now he’s looking for his big curve lass

She’s got the ass

If Verlander was an outfielder I bet he would’ve tried to rhyme “hits” with “tits”. Anyway, hurry up and watch this video before the guy uploads ‘Scenes From A Detroit-Area Restaurant’.

Up next: ‘Only The Good Dmitri Young’.

[h/t It’s Always Sunny In Detroit]