#thingsiliftwithmyvagina The Bali Series: The mighty coconut. The young, or green coconut is my favorite to drink and eat. The water is sweet (so sweet it tastes like it has sugar added) and the flesh is melt-in-your-mouth soft. It was called the “kalpa vriksha,” which is Sanskrit for “the tree that supplies all that is needed to live,” in ancient India. Everything in it is full of beneficial and medicinal properties: from the water to the oil to the cream to the milk to the husk. Even the fronds of the palm can be used to wrap packages (see my last lift!) It also oils up bodies real good. #thingsiliftwithmyvagina #vaginalkungfu #coconuts #tropics #bali #indonesia
Earlier this year, the internet learned about a vagina weightlifter named Kim Anami. This 44-year-old “fitness instructor” travels the world to hold seminars and exercise her vadge on a global scale. Anami is still on this worthy crusade and regularly posts new photos to Instagram, including this one from her “LA Series.” The picture shows her lifting a replica Oscar statuette on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Introducing the Best Supporting vagina:
The LA Series. #thingsiliftwithmyvagina And the Oscar goes to… My vagina. Best Supporting Vagina winner, for sure. I’m standing on Hollywood Boulevard, on the Walk of Fame. My vagina is hovering over the “star” of Hedy Lamarr. Some historical vagina for you: Hedy is the reason why most of you are even reading this right now. You could say she’s the most influential woman of our modern age. Not only was she touted in her day as being the “world’s most beautiful woman” by Louis B. Meyer, she had the first non-pornographic onscreen orgasm in the 1933 silent film “Ecstasy.” My kinda girl. It gets better. Tiring of acting, she took up inventing. Lamarr co-developed a frequency-hopping spread spectrum technology that is the basis for modern wifi communication. She registered the patent with her cofounder in 1942 and was inducted into the Inventor’s Hall of Fame in 2014. Beauty, brains, vagina. Even I’m impressed. #thingsiliftwithmyvagina #vaginalkungfu #vaginalsuperpowers #bestsupportingvagina #theoscargoesto #oscars
Anami has a fierce vagina, but her hashtag game is even fiercer. She not only uses the #thingsiliftwithmyvagina tag but has added #vaginalkungfu and #vaginaltruth to her mix. Anami’s latest vadge weightlifting advice involves an abandonment of all “exhibitionist” goals. She doesn’t post vadge-lifting photos to Instagram for attention. Don’t be silly. She does so to achieve a better bedroom life:
Kim, who calls her technique Vaginal Kung Fu because it is “the study and mastery of something,” runs online intimacy tutorials and retreats all over the world for curious couples. “My sex life has improved radically and when I started weight-lifting with my vagina my partner noticed the difference immediately.
“I can have multiple orgasms, I’d say 10 or 15 orgasms in a row. I can have an energy orgasm, which means an orgasm which takes place without touch, meaning I can have sex with my partner when he’s on the other side of the room or even on the other side of the planet. So even hearing his voice or just thinking about him, I can have an orgasm.”
From a theoretical standpoint, it’s difficult to draw a connection between vadge-lifting and “energy orgasms,” but this lady focuses a lot of energy upon her nether regions. Anami says she can lift up to ten pounds of various items, which are anchored into a strategically placed jade egg. She enjoys lifting many types of fruit, conch sea shells, and trophies. Oh, and donuts.