These Logo Mashup Hats Are A Disgrace To Sports Fans Everywhere

Plenty of things happen in and around the world of sports that don’t make sense. Former players yell at current ones for speaking their mind. The biggest profiteers from unpaid labor in America act as moral arbiters. But even hypocrisies have some sort of internal logic.

What we want to know is, how in the world do you explain this hat?

That’s a hat on which the logos of the St. Louis Blues, Montreal Canadiens and Buffalo Bills are just haphazardly smashed together. What is happening here? Why are two conflicting fanbases from one sport on the same hat? Even if that had some logic, why is a football team on there too? WHAT IS GOING ON?!

That is one of a series of hats being sold on Amazon by retailer CYANY that are nonsensical logo mashups, seemingly designed for no one in particular. I really have wracked my brain looking for some sort of logical overlap between some of these selections, and I’m coming up empty for most of them. Here’s a Buffalo Sabres/Washington NFL team/Memphis Grizzlies hat:

And perhaps most infuriatingly, the cross-rivalry Philadelphia Flyers/Pittsburgh Steelers/Calgary Flames(???) hat:

The Calgary Flames again worm their way into an already-nonsensical design, this time with the Broncos and Bears:

And here’s an Arizona Diamondbacks/Anaheim Mighty Ducks/Calgary Flames (again????) hat:

Of course, you can take your pick of what’s more upsetting: Any of those weirdo conglomerations above, or this all-too-logical Broncos hat in the style of My Little Pony, marketed directly to that dark corner of the internet known as the Brony community:

I cannot wait for this company to get sued over that.

(H/t TSN)