Manchester United, Now Featuring The Bad Guys From ‘Home Alone’

This might be the most niche headline/story we’ve ever featured, so God, I hope there’s a big crossover between soccer fans and people who love Home Alone.

Anyway, some days I get lost browsing through Imgur. If you’ve never been there, it’s a place where people share My Little Pony and Breaking Bad GIFs with text on them, then get upset that they aren’t getting enough credit or love for their My Little Pony and Breaking Bad GIFs. Sometimes a girl posts pictures of herself and walks a tightrope between “you get it girl, you’re beautiful!” comments and “GET IN THE SANDWICH AND MAKE ME A KITCHEN” demands. It’s a lot of fun.

Today, a person I will not properly credit on Imgur made soccer surprisingly relevant to me by pointing out how much Wayne Rooney and Marouane Fellaini look like the Wet Bandits from Home Alone.


I reached out to Manchester United PR rep Buzz McCallister to see if this revelation would be a problem for the team, and he said no, for three reasons: A, they’re not that lucky. Two, they use smoke detectors and D, they play on the most boring street in the whole United Kingdom, where nothing even remotely dangerous will ever happen. Period.