Miss Texas Channels 50 Cent For Her Slightly Off-Target Ceremonial First Pitch

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Sorry, but I won’t do it. I won’t mock Caroline Carothers, Miss Texas 2016, for a ceremonial first pitch at a Houston Astros game that maybe was just slightly off-target and short of home plate. We don’t know all the factors that went into that pitch or what she may have been doing beforehand that damaged her rotator cuff.

Sometimes there is no place for jokes. You might be saying, “This is because she is a beautiful woman and you don’t want to insult her, because it could damage your chances of dating her after she becomes Miss America.” How dare you. Yes, we could date, but objectively, there is no reason to make light of this attempt that should in no way be compared to 50 Cent’s attempt before a Mets game.

How about this isn’t even the worst first pitch by a Miss Texas in the past three years? Know your history, Internet jokesters.

Let’s start with the headline on the video because that’s the joke. “Miss Texas throws first pitch.” Hey, MLB, she has a name, and that name is Caroline Carothers. Show some respect for this talented woman that has bigger things on her mind than throwing a baseball, things like math.

On her web site, she says, “My goal is to raise awareness about my platform, “With + Math = I Can” helping kids, teens, and even adults adopt a growth mindset with learning math. I encourage students to take the pledge to help every student reach his or her potential in math.” Sure, an equation with words can be confusing, but this all adds up to Caroline being a good person that doesn’t deserve our scorn.

Would it be easy to crack wise about a woman attempting to throw a baseball while wearing what appear to be stilts? You know it. But will I crack wise about a person raising money for the Children’s Miracle Network as she competes in the Miss America Pageant?

No way. I respect her and America too much. I won’t make the lazy observation of, “Why would you try to throw a baseball in your sash?” Not me. I refuse to do it.

I speak for everyone at Uproxx when I wish Caroline all the best in the future.