Monica Seles Thinks This Idea Is Terrible

My Google alerts must be messed up, because normally my women’s tennis exhibition match news is the first thing that greets me each morning. But in a recent exhibition doubles match*, Kim Clijsters decided to have a little fun with one of her opponents, Yanina Wickmayer. Sadly, it involved neither pillows nor pudding.

Clijsters took the microphone from the chair umpire in the middle of the match and addressed the crowd in her zany Belgium language – Dutch? German? Swahili? – telling the mannen of the crowd that the first one to rush the court and kiss Wickmayer would win a white car that was parked next to the court. Needless to say, a few guys jumped the barriers and ran at Wickmayer at full speed, which is hilarious because a female tennis player was once stabbed that way. Did I say hilarious? I meant pants-crapping.
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*I assume it was last week when she also played top-ranked Caroline Wozniacki in exhibition play, but I don’t like to make assumptions about women’s tennis because it makes an ass out of me and nobody watches women’s tennis.