The Texans Beat The Bills Following A Pick-Six By Nathan Peterman With 90 Seconds Left

There are a lot of occupations in this world, and perhaps professional quarterback was the wrong one for poor Nathan Peterman. The 2017 fifth-round pick out of Pittsburgh has not had a good go of things under center for the Buffalo Bills, and that continued on Sunday when Peterman got the call in relief duty against the Houston Texans.

A Josh Allen elbow injury thrust Peterman into the game late in the third quarter of a 10-6 contest Houston had led throughout. The Bills offense struggled with Allen at quarterback, but putting Peterman into the game was the equivalent of giving children live grenades as the toys in their Happy Meal.

Peterman was a disaster in his NFL debut as a starter, throwing five first half interceptions in a drubbing against the Los Angeles Chargers last season. Despite that loss, the Bills made the postseason and he appeared late in that game after Tyrod Taylor was injured, immediately throwing an interception to end that game against the Jacksonville Jaguars.

Despite THAT, Peterman was Buffalo’s Week 1 starter against the Baltimore Ravens, a game in which he was intercepted twice in a 47-3 drubbing that caused the Bills to put rookie Josh Allen in as starter Week 2. Allen’s tenure as Bills starter hasn’t been great, but it’s better than giving the football to a nuclear reactor with a faulty cooling system and the relentless pounding of the ocean breaching the corroded steel walls keeping the island safe from a complete meltdown.

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And yet! Peterman came in and threw a touchdown pass to Zay Jones to give the Bills a lead. It was all pretty improbable, given that Peterman has had trouble, well, throwing the ball and Jones certainly has had his issues catching it.

That gave Buffalo the unlikely 13-10 lead. The Texans, however, then drove the field to tie the game with a field goal just inside the two minute warning, with DeShaun Watson finally finding some room to work against the Bills defense.

That set up a chance for Peterman to lead the Bills down the field, or at least kill enough clock to force overtime and maybe get the Bills a win there. There were a lot of ways for Peterman to Not Blow It. Like, a lot of ways.

Instead, Nate Peterman did the Peter Man thing, serving the ball directly to Texans cornerback Johnathan Joseph on a ball intended for Kelvin Benjamin.

It was an awful throw and nausea-inducing for Bills fans, who saw Joseph breaking on the ball well before Benjamin even knew it was coming. Joseph didn’t even have to run all the way into the end zone. It was that bad. The shrieks from Bills fans were picked up by earthquake research laboratories across this once-great land.

The pick-six gave Houston the 20-13 lead and thrust Peterman back out onto the field to try to now tie the game that he just lost for the Bills. It went just as badly as the last drive: Peterman was intercepted and the Texans hung on for the 20-13 win. Peterman went from entirely competent quarterback to, well, Nathan Peterman with breakneck speed. It was nothing short of remarkable.

At this point it’s a wonder if Peterman will ever be able to play in the NFL. Just too many things have gone so poorly for him so early in his career. The health of Josh Allen is up in the air now, but the Bills signed quarterbacking human being Derek Anderson last week. Perhaps he’s a better option than Peterman inevitably hucking leather prolate spheroids to dudes wearing different-colored jerseys. Perhaps not, or perhaps nothing that happens here will ever matter at all.

Peterman finished 6 of 12 for 61 yards, a touchdown, and two insanely bad interceptions on Sunday. Expect more of the same if he’s ever allowed onto a professional football field in the future.