05.13.07 11 years ago

Rafael Nadal won the Rome Masters today becoming the first man to win three consecutive titles there.  He also ran his clay court winning-streak to 77 matches, and now each victory will establish a new record for consecutive same surface triumphs.  John McEnroe, who previously held the record with 75 wins in a row on indoor carpet, is a little perturbed:

I'm running out of records," said McEnroe, who watched courtside when the Spaniard tied his mark on Friday.  "The guy seems like he's unbeatable right now. Doesn't he ever have a bad day or a headache once in a while or something?," he asked reporters.

I know what you mean Mac.  I set a record of sorts with Katy on indoor carpet when she used to baby-sit for the O'Malleys.  I'd wait naked for her on the beige shag in the den while she put the eight kids to bed, and then I'd ace her deuce (if you know what I mean) if I didn't double-fault.  Don't worry ladies, I don't double-fault anymore . . . much.  Anyway, I had strung eighteen Saturdays in a row on the same surface, until that damn foreign exchange student from Spain appeared.  She even had the nerve to tell me that he surpassed my record in three nights, that he never made an unforced error, and their baseline volleys lasted for minutes instead of seconds.  Slut.  Why did we ever end the Spanish-American War anyway?  Remember the Maine people, REMEMBER THE MAINE! -KD

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