Something Remarkably Disgusting Happened To A Soccer Player Today

Prepare yourself for one of the most amazing and one of the most disgusting things you will ever see. As Manchester United star Ashley Young yelled at teammates, something dropped from the sky. Something wet, something white, something I can’t quite put my finger on and OH MY GOD, I CAN’T STOP WATCHING.

I believe there are three camps here.

The Spit Camp

-makes sense given the dimensions of the stadium
-because soccer fans are gross

The Bird Poop Camp

-Mostly because I don’t want to believe it was spit and mostly because that’s one magic loogie
-Birds are gross and don’t care where they poop

The Soft Serve Frozen Yogurt Camp

-ok fine, I’m in the only person in this camp

Where do you stand on #PoopGate?